Writer’s Quote Wednesday-Malcolm X

On Death Anniversary of Malcolm X, Remembering his powerful words!

My Journey with Hijab

For Wednesday Ritual Quotation , I chose this quote from Malcolm X, inspired from his autobiography that I started reading a month back but didn’t finish it yet, I am more busy in blogging these days and reading posts from WordPress Reader than  my own  list.

Malcolm X was a strong leader with a great vision,unfortunately he didn’t live long enough to write many books but what he left is worth reading! It somehow gives me that strength that I am looking for,his words are empowering which compels for  the need of self-respect and most essential ,everyone’s right to freedom! . He lived for it and died for it.

Most of his quotes are about freedom and equality , I really like this one as it showed his empathetic side and greater understanding for human nature!

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We should not be in  a hurry to blame others or categorize people into good…

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The pressures of modern working women!-Part 1

Recently I have had some conversations with few of friends and I have gone through this phase myself ,the topic doesn’t  leave me for sometime.  The pressures of an urban girl, our modern working women!

The social progress and  development has given a lot of rights to women : Education, Equality, Work etc and we have excelled in all of the fields .We have dreamed , aspired , struggled and achieved our dreams to be educated and financially independent . While we were flying high  happily  in our lives  suddenly we had our strings  pulled back  because we have  hit 26 ,some 28 or 30 years in age and are still single. This pressure to be married and settled down is so much that it overshadows all the achievements of girls , from being an achiever  they  are reduced to a status of poor girls who are not yet married. Their families are in constant pressure to get their daughters married in our South East Asian societies . With each passing birthday , they have another year of being a ‘yet unmarried girl’. Not talking about the details of going into an arranged marriage and those pains of rejections or being forced to settle for someone who is not even their worth or match just because the clock is ticking.

Since the time we have remembered being ourselves as girls, we had this constant pressure of proving ourselves  to what boys  can do or are allowed to do . Infact this pressure of doing things turns into outperforming them and also became  passion . The performance had boosted  our confidence and self respect and we had got habitual of living with dignity and pride when all of sudden people around us starting stealing it in form of concern and pity. Why do we even  allow ourselves to be reduced to an object of pity for others.We have put all of lives to become what we are today and then this constant  pressure of marriage is draining all our energies (and later on it  brings additional roles and responsibilities that I have kept for other parts of this topic) and for some even deviating from their life’s goal. They want to study further or get a better position in their work , or travel and later  think about Marriage , Why not respect their opinions ?

I think it is not only  working women’s problem  who should somehow found a way to solve their problem  but we need a collective change in mindset of our society to accept that there is  not  only  a single  age bracket to get married and once you pass that age you will not get married. We need to come out of that closed box thinking of being limited to our traditions and cultures , Be kind enough to understand  these women who just finished their studies , started working, some of them still paying their education loans  are now grilled with this pressure and are piling up the stress . So many of us have started having health issues which mostly are result of chronic stress.The message is not only for these urban working ladies to be strong enough to handle this pressure of marriage but also to our society to be gentle enough , to be more kind and more mature to accept the change and let go of their preconceived notion of marriageable age.

I am not against marriage , there is nothing better than a good marriage and also nothing worse than a bad marriage so we need to choose wisely . Why rush or be sad for things not happening right now. Things will happen  at their own time , till then we need to continue living our lives. The ultimate goal of life is not only marriage . Do things that you love, increase your knowledge , learn new things , travel , practice kindness  and patience and most importantly never ever give up your confidence   !

More to be followed soon in other parts  🙂

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Writer’s Quote Wednesday-Rumi

 

I guess it is the time again to bring you from the gems of Mawlana Rumi. It is one of my favorite quote and I am sure will become your favorite too.

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Quotes are nothing but affirmation of unspoken thoughts residing inside your mind and when you read them , they resonate inside with those words and your heart tells you it is the truth ! Mawlana Rumi has mastered this art of capturing these thoughts and they serve as sign and reminder of our true inner feelings.

The biggest proof of this quote is my  blog and I  keep coming back here to pen down my thoughts, although a virtual space but it is still a place for refuge for being with my own self where that otherwise quiet person inside, speaks . This is what I like the most may be to be clear in my mind, to hear what’s going inside . Sometimes some stories unfold, sometimes  old memories resurface and sometimes there is good old  friend’s advice.There is so much going on, we just need some time to stop and listen, to be our own friend .

We may not be able to pursue our passion as full time thing because of many reasons in life but we can always find some time to do the things we like to do the most. It serves as a form of meditational therapy to keep you calm and at peace.

Do let me know what you all like to do ?  Happy Wednesday Everyone !

 

 

Just another Rant Post

Sometimes it is hard to understand that people are having a bad day or  they are in their normal ill humoured  mood or is it intentional for you! I have a problem with rude people especially if they are at service desk . I understand everything is very general for them because it is their everyday job and the person asking them questions seems stupid enough but  being rude and giving  him/her  angry looks  makes them  look even more incompetent for the job they are being hired for .

Today I went to local kiosk where you can buy your everyday stuff including magazines, newspapers and they also send your letters and posts. I asked the lady at the counter, I want to send a letter by registered post . Before I had uttered the words “by registered post” she had already put a local stamp on it and then she was angry  ” You have to tell me first! ” and I was half shocked,  blurted out  “ yes,  I told you ” . She then shook her head saying no , rolled her eyes up as if I am lying and said “Sending a letter means local post  and you should say Register ! You already had me waiting while I have other customers ” .

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The blood gushed to my face, I could feel nervousness in my hands while taking out coins, I quickly paid her and left . I could hear my heartbeats in my ears,  it didnt came back normal until 15 mins, nervousness in my hands for another 20 minutes and my mood for 30 mins ! That is what happens if you are hypersensitive, small little everyday things could trigger those anxieties and nervousness.  I suffered for an hour almost without any fault . With this hypersensitivity one is so prone to get hurt even with people who are complete strangers . You shatter a little everyday and then you gather yourself and stand up again. It is a everyday routine to watch yourself and protect from getting hurt but then it happens every now and then.

It is impossible to avoid such people in life, you meet them at every corner. The best thing you can do is divert your mind to something else immediately for example start checking phone , call some one, listen a song or say something to calm yourself down , a prayer.

 

When Life jibes !

Life has been taking few jibes over me since I lost my bag and everything important with it . Some of the funny ones I  remember are shared here :

  • Walking through your favorites stores without card or enough money, that too during sales season  and for a week ( almost killed me 😦 )
  • Laptop Charger got broken  (  we have a saying in hindi  ‘ Ghareebi mei aata Geela’  which literally translates to ‘ During Poverty you got your flour wet’ , that sounds foolish but it means  ‘In adversity everything turns bad’  )
  • You have a guest at home  expecting the best hospitality  and  you have limited cash.
  • You want to eat at a restaurant and then  the cashier tells you you they don’t accept credit card ! You come out with a sad face and broken heart.  Sigh** 
  • Beggars coming to you and asking for coins and how you wish you can tell them they have more in their bowl/cup  than you in your pocket!

Jokes apart,  I have received my debit card yesterday , life is coming back to normal again . Thanks everyone for your love , concerns and sharing your experiences with me .

There is an old age saying Whatever happens happens for good , it is true to an extent that we always have  learnings and awakenings from the darkest moments of our lives. I actually lived the difference between what we need and what we want in life in the last week. For example I want an Iphone or Samsung Galaxy S6 but my requirements can be fulfilled with a J5 or even lesser expensive one. I just need a smartphone which has decent features and suits my  budget so I picked up one such phone. Another example , We decided to do our grocery with what we need for a week to survive: some fruits, veggies, milk  ,eggs , oil and bread . It wasn’t expensive compared to my normal grocery tours where I spend hours musing and a heavy amount and then come back with everything not in my shopping list .The human needs are simple and affordable , they don’t force  you to go out of the way to have them. It is our desires , social pressure and inner complexes. Although there is part of world population which is struggling to meet their basic needs ,  the discussion here is for people who can easily afford them and are still struggling with their wants and  like to have which ultimately turns them unhappy  and demotivated.

I think the best life is a minimalist’s life,  just take care of what you need and leave the rest for others. Life will become easy and more peaceful. Another thing to add to my to list of 2017, incorporating the minimalist’s approach .

Have a nice weekend everyone !

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My Yesterday’s True Story

Hi Guys,

My this post is especially  for women  who like to keep their important stuff at one place, very organised in their beloved hand bag everything sorted out, the makeup pouch, the phone, the keys and all their important cards. You name it and here it is, handed out from the well known corner of their bags.

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Yesterday I ran into some bad luck , I forgot my bag in the metro and it was gone as soon the doors of metro were closed. With that one second, life changed, I was without my phone , my wallet with all my id cards and bank cards in it, no cash and without keys of my home. I stood there wondering, did it actually happened ?  Is it just a bad dream ?  I pinched myself, no it was real . What should I do …I first ran  to the help desk at metro station, tried to call Metro Emergency Number and  told the drivers of the last metro to check for my abandoned bag, no luck, the drivers didnt find anything. I rushed back home,  with some remaining good luck that day I had my metro card in my pocket, my husband was still home  to open the door  for me, and then I tried calling my number from his phone  but  it was not reachable so you know the rest of the story, Some antisocial element must have picked  up my bag.

First of all I blocked all my cards, then we had to change the locks of the house for the security reasons and thirdly went to police to get the report of loss done, without which I cannot apply for duplicate copy of my id cards .

My Lesson Learnt : Never ever keep all your important things at one place , try to put few in your jacket’s pockets  like metro pass and phone and few in your jeans/pants ‘s pocket  like your id card  or   carry a sling bag ( for all important things)  if you have 2-3 bags to carry everyday like a laptop, lunch bag and your hand bag.

Positive side:

  • I bought a new phone and I was thanking God that I never buy a very expensive phone for the kind of lost person I am, I better know myself.
  • I slept early yesterday owing to the long day  I had.
  • I ate no lunch adding to my diet, didnt feel any hunger.
  • I had a day off though I wouldn’t like to have ones like these.
  • I passed one full day without being online .Can you believe that ?
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P.S: For those of you who might be thinking what kind of irresponsible person I am  to forget my bag  , Shit happens !! , I was actually lost in reading a book, almost missed my stop and when I got down , forgot one of the 3 bags I was carrying and Come on peeps!   it is after 10 years I have lost my bag again , actually last time it was stolen in 2007.

 

New Year Updates

Hi Everyone , It’s been a while I have been away from my blog , I wonder if any creature has noticed 😀  In any case if you were wondering where was I ! I had been dead  busy with my laziness, lack of motivation, some health issues, french classes and January sales !  I hope you all had nice end of year holidays and a great starting of New Year, by the way  I finished all my holidays during my excessive travelling last year so I was working until the last day of 2016( Poor me! ) I love to self pity myself 😉

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My Last year was overall okay . I travelled  to India, Algeria (twice) ,Spain (twice) , Germany and Poland so for my travelling nerve  I am more than satisfied , I have decided to rest a bit this year . I had  read 12 books and completed my GoodRead Challenge for which I am Proud of myself ! Some of my closed ones left us forever but then I had my niece born on 19th Dec alhamdulillah , can’t always keep complaining . I also finished one semester of french language.

I was worried for my growing weight and lethargy  and then in August I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism . It was only a month of taking my medicines for thyroid when I started having bouts of unbearable back pains, and a month later I was diagnosed with degenerating lumbar discs, another feather in my cap.  Being a hopeless optimist , I think  these early diagnosis were blessings , I have started to take more care of my health now, joined the gym  and  eating more healthy. The conditions seems under control as of now .

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I have kept few goals for 2017 , Being the lazy person I am !

  • My goodreads challenge of 10 books to read this year.
  • My goal to visit 5 new cities  InshaAllah ! I recently saw a friend putting up her travelling goals in terms of  cities to visit, It is actually so much better, You can even travel near by and still be a  tourist and be able to meet your travel goals.
  •  Writing in Urdu so you will see some blog posts in Urdu.
  • Blogging more regularly.
  • Continue  my french classes .
  • Revive my dead food blog.
  • Reduce my impulsive shopping .
  • Keeping in touch with my friends and family regularly. ( I have already worked on it last year, I am too bad at keeping contacts )

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that was all from me for now, See you with next blog !

 

Aaj fir kisi ke jane ki khabar aayi

آج فر کسی كے جانے کی خبر آئی

 دِل کی دُنیا میں فر اداسی چھائی

رو رہے تھے جب ہم غیروں کو

کسی اپنے كے جانے کی تب خبر آئی

موت ہے یقینا یہ جانتا ہو میں بھی

یوں تیرے اک دم جانے کی بے یقینی ہے

وہ ملنا تجھ سے یوں آخری ہو گا

وہ مسکرا کر دیکھنا بھی

وہ آگے بڑھ کر دعاؤں دینا

وہ بے لوث کی محبت 

بس یادوں میں سب کی یوں

قید ہو جاؤگے سوچا نا تھا

English Transliteration, if you  can’t read  Urdu.

Aaj fir kisi ke jane ki khabar aayi

dil ki duniya mein fir udaasi chaayi

Ro rahe they jab hum  ghairon ko

Kisi apne ke jane ki tab khabar ayi.

Maut hai yaqeenan ye  janta hu mai bhi

Yun tere ek dum jane ki be yaqeeni hai.

Wo milna tujhse yun aakhri hoga

Wo muskurakar dekhna bhi

Wo aage badhkar duaaen dena

Wo belaus ki mohabbat !

Bas Yaadon mein  sabki yun

 kaid ho jaoge  Socha na tha.

Seems like the death has declared a war on us, and the first ones to go are the good people. I see people dying in war,hunger and then we have these sudden deaths happening around shaking us to the roots and souls. Recently I lost an uncle of mine, my mother’s cousin and the whole family is still in complete shock  , he suffered a massive silent heart attack and died in his sleep. He was not ill or suffering from any other health problem nor was he that old , basically there is no defined logic for death  when and why  it will choose you ! so nothing rules the logic except the Divine Decree that is what we believe in as muslims, when there is the time to go ,  you go. Everyone around you adapts to not having you around anymore and try hard to cling on to their memories to keep you there forever.

He was a great soul, a completely social human being, loving everyone around him , especially the kids of family, no matter which chain of hierarchy you fall in , He will connect with you and bond you instantly. His voice, his mannerism , his sense of humor , all created  his charisma which we  will miss  forever now. A progressive muslim who was always encouraging the girls of the family to study further and be independent. In fact he used to come back to keep a check  and even remind you “Never  forget your goal in life, life is short  , time is running and success is far” .  One of the lines from his last message he sent  to me in September.

May Allah accept our prayers and grant him in Jannah and give peace to his soul.

I wish Mamu I could have said this when you were alive, Never thought you would leave us so soon. You left us with a feeling of regret  we couldn’t tell you how important you were for us and how much we loved you.

 

 

I see the depart of great souls

 

I see the depart of great souls

From this world, one after the other.

people bereft , confused and sad

each one more than another.

 Without leaders, without their guides.

Without beckons for the path to abide.

The intelligentsia getting replaced by fools

The just and kind, by the cruel and blinds.

The darkness is following,

 The Candles blowing off quickly.

The sadness is following,

The happiness blowing off quickly.

Behold O dear heart, Beat slowly!

Hold on to the faith and walk steadfastly.

Hold on to the prayer and pray generously.

Hold on to this journey to pass it with ease.

( This poem is dedicated to all the great souls I have seen  leaving us in last few months, especially  the news from yesterday of Maulana Junaid Jamshed’s death has left me sad, May Allah grant him Jannah and his soul rest in Peace . Aameen ) 

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