As Everyone has a story , I too have my story ,it may not be an exciting one but I am sure it will of some use if you are thinking of wearing Hijab in future. May be you also have the same mindset that I once had and you can relate to it,
Best is to give you a background about myself that could be explain why I didn’t wear Hijab so far:
I am an Indian , born and raised as Muslim , often people who are born with Islam are the ones to take it more lightly as everything becomes more of a tradition for us rather than valuing its real worth.
Let me give you a walk through of a Muslim atmosphere that I have grown up with, around myself, of two type basically , one which is strictly religious wearing Burqa , long beards , telling people about Haraam/Halal,going to study in Madarsas and the other category called themselves as modern Muslims without any Niqab or Burqa ,their kids going to English Medium Schools . the two of them hardly mix with each other, As more and more Muslims do not want to be associated with stereotype and fanatics, they are choosing to be Modern Muslims so even if the mothers were wearing the Burqa ,the kids were being raised in catholic schools/English mediums to be prepared for this life and of-course to become so called modern muslims.
So inspite of being born in muslim family, raised as a muslim by parents who are praying five times a day,whose mother wears a Niqab , I never wore a hijab in my life,because the concept of Hijab didn’t exist , I do not know what it is, there was only one thing the Burqa or Niqab, which for me was a symbol of ignorance and being fundamentalist as people around me perceive it and I have absorbed this theory too well, I rejected it and nobody forced it on me .
Years passed , I finished my High school , then my Engineering , started working , enjoying my life ,during all these years I have been doing my salah/prayers not 5 times but 2 times minimum, and reading Quran without knowing much the meaning , observing fasts in Ramadan ,and taking care of Haraam/Halal things that a muslim should do, so according to me, we are good modern muslims who are doing the required obligations except that we do not wear Burqa or conservative clothing because looks don’t matter to Allah as he sees our Niyah and our hearts.
I first saw women in Hijab in my travel to France and Belgium that was first time I traveled abroad , they were not wearing a burqa/niqab but a scarf on their head covering their hair, I thought to myself why? We just cover our hair when we pray salah, so why are they doing it? Is it a tradition?, as they were from Morocco mostly. The questions went away from my mind once these women were out of sight from road or metros. I also found muslim women not wearing any Hijab ,in fact not following any rules, some were even drinking alcohol , these were two different kind of muslims I was observing first time in my life, For me both were beyond my understanding so I decided to draw my own line between them, a non hijabi but adhering to the dos and don’ts of Islam.
Although I know by then that Hijab was a mandatory part of a muslim woman’s dress after researching hours on internet to find one site that says it is not mandatory , but much to my disappointment I couldn’t find, that also didn’t dwindle my spirits, I said to myself so what ? Hijab isn’t my thing.
Later when I came back to India after few years, the awareness of Islamic knowledge had reached far levels, I was often asked to wear Hijab in India , at times while walking in park, women in niqab will come to me and tell me about deen and how should i wear hijab. In.In the beginning I was feeling offended as none has right to judge my clothes or tell me what to wear ,they should mind their own business and let me live.For me ,religion is a personal thing and not to show off in public. What matters most is inside my heart, to be nice from inside, what is it in clothes or hair ?
so I shrugged off all such invitations.