7 days of Kindness #wellbeingseptemberseries

Day 2 of #7daysofkindness is clearly dedicated to this little creature who definitely deserves more kindness from me than anyone else I can think of first . The surroundings we raise  these kids are all designed for  adults and what they keep on hearing all day is  Don’t do this , Don’t do that ! Put that back! You will fall ! Shut that door ! don’t open the cupboards , don’t play with it !
So today I just stepped back and thought , Is it really their fault all day ? They are just curious little fellas, out there having some fun . Are we really failing them as adult ? , instead of making their life more fun and happy we just keep nagging and they hear all day is negative words ‘ No , don’t do’ …
So much so  that once I start telling  Amjad no for something. He comes back  with a stern reprimanding  voice saying ‘ No No  Don’t do ! ‘ . Felt like  a mirror being held to my face and I see me through his eyes .
So for today a little more empathy and kindness for this little fella .I let him play with  dirt in the garden , opening taps and getting wet with  water and even munching on these unwashed grapes!

The video used in the post is mine n Subject to Copyright ©.

7 days of Kindness #wellbeingseptemberseries

It’s Day1 of #wellbeingseptemberseries
And #7daysofkindness . Thanks @bringingupmom from Instagram  for remembering and tagging me. We all do little acts of kindness here and there but what we don’t do is challenge ourselves and doing it deliberately . Most of these exercises looks silly to many people and a waste of time but experts have designed it and recommended for our mental well being.
So for me I am set for these 7 days of deliberate acts of kindness that I will record and motivate myself to do.
As they say charity begins at home so here I am , the first person I often neglect and not kind enough is me myself. I reminded myself to be more kind to myself , to be more forgiving , to be less judgemental and to be more accepting , of all the things that I want to do or achieve and not doing so , for parts of me I am so critical of , I would be kinder , more optimistic and helpful. I would always encourage myself to be better and I would always be my forever friend. So a Little of introspection for Day 1 of kindness.

World’s Best flowers !

Well if you see nothing special in these dandelions please see them again. These were given to me by 18 month old son , hand picked one by one taking one trip down each flower in the garden and mind you these were exclusively for mommy. When Daddy requested to give him one he denied flatly with a ‘No -No’ and finger moving in a pendulum motion.

So Did you see now the world’s most beautiful flowers . He might outgrow these little acts and will not even remember but these will always remain the best flowers for this mommy.

I am absorbing at the deepest level of my memories these feelings, his little kisses and cosy hugs because sooner than I think he will outgrow them and they will not come in this abundance. The toothless grin is gone and days when I was worried that he is late for teething. Whenever I worry too much for a milestone I remind myself that my child is no competition to reach targets and deadlines and he will eventually be there . I just have to be patient and enjoy all the time I have being with him.

Flashbacks – remembering Abba

It’s amazing how your memories are pinned together in your brain.A simple thing could lead you to a happy memory or even a painful one. I am generally a forward looking person , with that I mean I don’t look at old pictures much unless an FB memory pops up and remind me what I was doing this day that year. May be there are some painful parts in there which I don’t want to recall at all and I supress all of it . Who knows! That’s what talking to yourself does to you, you see , answers your own behavior!

So coming back, yesterday night while I was flossing my teeth with a plastic disposable flossing stick .I started thinking what could be a better sustainable option ? And I remember the toothpick made of soft wood . The word tooth pick triggered the urdu word for it in my mind which is ‘Khilaal’ as my grandfather would often ask for it after eating his meals. And there he was so vivid in my mind so clear his face and his voice asking for it. I could remember which clothes he was wearing , his posture , his actions while he used it. I have been trying to remember him so clearly from so long but I always get a faded view but this was so strong so clear and so vivid that I just closed my eyes and listened to him saying it for a few seconds.

I then opened my eyes, smiled and had such a sound sleep.

Isn’t it the amazing, the power of brain what it can do to you.

Alhumdolillah for everything.

Being Grateful for everything and for all the beautiful memories.

Forever that never existed ?

For the promises that said forever and forever

I often wondered which forever?

their , mine or the one which never existed !

You and me , walking on the dimensional dimensions

where you are changing , I am changing , and these dimensions too.

These dimensions based on time, priorities ,

emotions and thoughts.

Are we going away or coming closer ?

Sometimes it’s a pulling push

Another time, it feels a pushing pull.

A dull Ache or brimming laughter .

Sometimes I feel we are on the same orbit

sometimes I feel I am another planet.

Between hearing and noise

between coherence and incoherence

between comprehension and apprehension

lie the promises of forever,

their’s, your’s, mine’s forever

or the forever that never existed ?

When do we start being a Positive or a negative person ?

11 year old me: Abba , when I am praying or Reading Quran my mind always wanders off but it doesn’t happen when I watch tv or read another book which means I am only reading from my tongue but my heart and mind is not in there. I am so upset at myself.

Abba : (laughs firsts) I am glad you noticed it , please keep trying to focus and it will come inshallah . 

me: I feel bad that my prayers will not be accepted .

Abba: Look there is always a positive way to look at things . First of all you have realized it and you  already know what should you do about it. Even though you feel the prayers are not good enough there is still a part of your body ( your tongue) which is still busy in ibaadah of Allah swt, things are not as bad as we think they are. You keep trying to focus and soon you will pray with full focus and attention.That’s how we all learn and practice.

The above conversation is at least 20 years old between a 10 or 11 year old me and my paternal grandfather . It is one of the many wonderful memorable conversations I had with him which have shaped the person I am. It was the first thing that played in my mind yesterday after talking to a friend who refuses to see the positive side of life and not being optimistic for the days when things will be better. She told me I am not as positive person as you are which kept me thinking for long , what could be the reason for this difference in positivism where she clearly is lacking. Is it part of personality? Is it learnt  by self  with a conscious effort ? or is it constantly fed by our surroundings and people around us in our formative years .

I think all three reasons are valid and the most important one is the last one. The people around us, our parents our family , our environment,if they are positive or not. A child picks up the first vibes  and outlook to see life from his surroundings. Is my life or any other person’s life different from each other in terms of daily struggles ?  We are all in our bubble of life, struggling to survive and to be. We all have our share of problems and griefs, there might be difference in level and gravity of problems but we all have our share so why is it that some people could bounce back after a setback or problem while others cannot ? where is that subtle difference ? that difference might be coming with the  positive attitude in life. I think it is very important to create a positive environment around us for  ourselves , to preserve our sanity and imbibe the positive thinking in our children.

 

 

If I can see my soul

I often wonder

what would I do

If i can see my soul.

Like I see myself

in the mirror whole.

Could I also paint 

like I do to my face .

hiding all its scars

and ugliness

under the base ?

Could it be ugly and poor

starved ,weak and old ?

With torn clothes ,

and skin with folds.

sobbing for help!

 

 

 

 

 

Lost-Part 2

How do I

name this feeling

Of avoid

Of escape

From my own self.

Fearing to stand

in front of myself.

Where it is

me against me.

Where the other 

asks the account

of life’s each day !

Of life’s each moment.

And I haven’t a penny

Of any worthy actions

to fill up the wasted

baskets of time.

Life is running

out of time!

These moments 

are evaporating.

Stronger I try to hold 

 faster they slip 

out of my hands

Like the grains

of a hot sand 

 on a summer 

Saharan   afternoon .

Lost

Lost in the ocean of people

So many around but none.

The emptiness surrounds

And I ask am I the only one ?

I distract myself

to this ongoing world.

Faking a smile and

sometimes a laugh .

Daily chores and work

Is only an escape a getaway

from my constant wandering

in jungle of thoughts.

I come back home

Tired and bored.

Only to find myself

waiting on the doors!