Trust your inner sensors

When you are sitting in the nature observe it too !
How everyone is just busy and happy doing their things.
Bees buzzing around, birds flying and  chirping, wind  blowing , some flowers opening at sunlight and then closing again at sunset.
The climbers and vines finding their way through the walls and support using their sensory receptors , their natural springs coiling around the wires sometimes multiple times as per the support needed by their delicate stems until they are  stronger and ready to move to next wall.
And here I am untrusting my natural inner sensors who are constantly telling me who I am, 
That I am strong, I am worthy and I can do it,  that there is Allah’s support available, just close your eyes, see through the inner eye and coil around your rock and support system that trusts you,  supports you and nurtures you!

I was looking outside and getting lost while all I have to do is adjust my compass and look inside , because that’s what I always do !
I always look inside for my way though, that’s where I find my answers and support.

Dont change your course because it works for others, what works for them might not work for you. You know what is best for you and how you do things.
Trust your sensors , do it your way.


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December 2020 Introspection Series – Part 4

It was September this year when I had really low energy levels and fatigue , I fixed my appointment with physician and went to check if my sluggish thyroid had got more sluggish and  needs a  dose adjustment. He did a few tests , took  blood samples and asked me to call back tomorrow for my results.
The next day I was surprised by the call from Doctor , his voice quite low and serious and he  asked me to come back next morning to run more tests. He found the kcrf reading of my kidneys problematic.
We needed to do more tests and ultrasounds  to make the correct diagnosis and analysis.
It took a week of redoing so many tests and finding out that everything was good  alhumdolillah .
And that week was longest week of this year , hanging  in between and hoping that results should be okay. With the second round  of tests my kcrf reading came normal, it  can be that  low if you are really dehydrated and me being me I am always  bad at  drinking water.
It took me as a shock that here  I was taking care of my health, trying to lose pregnancy  weight, fussing over covid , planning my life for year ahead, and then if  I really had my kidneys functioning at 60 % only then what would my life had become  and that too for how long .
Thoughts were coming and leaving at lightning speed. I thought of the cancer patients , nobody wanted a cancer and it happened , nobody wants an accident or illness , it happens or even death it just happens.
Are we ever ready ?
Have we done the things that we always wanted to do if that moment is here ? ( Not counting my travel lists )

There is list of things that I have been wanting to do and am  just procrastinating .

And if this is my real second chance and a narrow escape from could have been my life with that first diagnosis.

Here I am trying to revive my readings, writings , introspection , soul searching and awakenings.

2020 has really been a year with lots of reminders, gratitude , patience and a needed thrust to do the things I always wanted to do..
Still another week to go ..


Stay tuned for another or two more posts on this series.


Love and hugs

December Introspection Series Part 1

The time of the year has arrived when city is all decked up with lights and people are out enjoying food , shopping and Christmas markets. 2020 brings none of that .
Last year this Month I was booking my holidays for 2020 , my flight for India was booked , and I was booking my holiday trips to Istanbul and Budapest, some of my colleagues were discussing about a virus in China which has infected one city and it just hopped my one ear and skipped the other . Never would have I thought that it would change our lives in this way and for some forever those who lost their loved ones to this deadly virus.
I think we were all living in a cloud and this virus has shook us back to reality..I was watching series where there is speedster who can time travel , space travel, go to other earths and then reality hit so hard when we actually saw a pandemic and a crisis actually looks like ( don’t want to recall the horrors of Indian lockdown where thousands of migrant workers were stuck , temporary displaced, lost jobs, many lost lives not only because of corona but due to hunger , poverty and depression ) and with all advancement we have made in medical science we realized it takes time to develop a vaccine.

Coming back to my trips , they were all cancelled and I was stuck in India for 3 months in the lockdown.( That story deserve s another full post )
Have my goals for 2020 met : honestly speaking I don’t even remember or care what even were they. I am just so glad to be alive , healthy in my home with all amenities and my loved ones too
Alhumdolillah and shukran Allah for that.

Self help Diaries -1

I sometimes write to find answers to questions my mind is baffled with. I don’t know how many of you do it but it definitely works for me.Words waiting inside to be released , to be unleased. Answers buried deep down my subconscious, waiting to be found, to be discovered.

Constantly worrying over something? something consuming you? Write about it ! Some things need to be said and you need to be released from being their prisoner. I am constantly worrying for people who don’t worry ! Sounds strange ? Let me complete the sentence then, I am constantly worried about people who don’t worry about themselves and about others , who live mindlessly who don’t care for their and others’s future. This thing worries me. Infact it terrifies me.

I just take a pause then and take an aerial view of myself outside my body looking at my worried self. And I start by asking questions ? Am I responsible for them ? am I their provider ? Have I done my bit today? What more can I do ? If there is nothing else I can do I need to stop worrying there and then. Take few deep breaths and say a prayer for them and myself.

O Lord of the universe! the one and only ! who is complete and perfect ! guide me and guide them.Secure their and my future here on earth and in the hereafter .Teach us to live wisely and mindfully and be grateful and thankful for all what we have. Educate us and remove the darkness within our souls and fill it with your light.

Ameen.

A sad observation !

What do people with pain

Have with them

to give to others ?

Kindness , empathy may be

Or sometimes

it is just the pain.

A part of pain here

and a part of pain there.

Turning someone’s smile

into sadness becomes

their daily chores.

Mean , vile , poisonous

Words that sting and hurts.

Wicked smiles and shrewd

minds they become.

A pain they have gone through

An ember of pain which

they hold on forever ,

And refuse to let go.

Refuse to let it heal.

A pain which they share

With the world as Ripple effect .

Writer’s Quote Wednesday-Rumi

 

I guess it is the time again to bring you from the gems of Mawlana Rumi. It is one of my favorite quote and I am sure will become your favorite too.

quotes1

Quotes are nothing but affirmation of unspoken thoughts residing inside your mind and when you read them , they resonate inside with those words and your heart tells you it is the truth ! Mawlana Rumi has mastered this art of capturing these thoughts and they serve as sign and reminder of our true inner feelings.

The biggest proof of this quote is my  blog and I  keep coming back here to pen down my thoughts, although a virtual space but it is still a place for refuge for being with my own self where that otherwise quiet person inside, speaks . This is what I like the most may be to be clear in my mind, to hear what’s going inside . Sometimes some stories unfold, sometimes  old memories resurface and sometimes there is good old  friend’s advice.There is so much going on, we just need some time to stop and listen, to be our own friend .

We may not be able to pursue our passion as full time thing because of many reasons in life but we can always find some time to do the things we like to do the most. It serves as a form of meditational therapy to keep you calm and at peace.

Do let me know what you all like to do ?  Happy Wednesday Everyone !

 

 

I see the depart of great souls

 

I see the depart of great souls

From this world, one after the other.

people bereft , confused and sad

each one more than another.

 Without leaders, without their guides.

Without beckons for the path to abide.

The intelligentsia getting replaced by fools

The just and kind, by the cruel and blinds.

The darkness is following,

 The Candles blowing off quickly.

The sadness is following,

The happiness blowing off quickly.

Behold O dear heart, Beat slowly!

Hold on to the faith and walk steadfastly.

Hold on to the prayer and pray generously.

Hold on to this journey to pass it with ease.

( This poem is dedicated to all the great souls I have seen  leaving us in last few months, especially  the news from yesterday of Maulana Junaid Jamshed’s death has left me sad, May Allah grant him Jannah and his soul rest in Peace . Aameen ) 

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What if this existence is not real?

Often a thought

passes my mind

What if this existence

is not real?

This body, this breath

and touch  is nothing

but what I see in a dream.

And I will wake up

Somewhere as oblivious

as I am now of

where  I am sleeping.

A rich man waking up poor

And the poor will be rich.

Some will thank for

The dream is over

While others will cry

for their dream is wasted

in chasing a mirage.

Inspired by Rumi’s Masnawi , was reading his famous quote  while this poem happened in my mind .

This place is a dream. Only a sleeper considers it real. Then death comes like dawn, and you wake up laughing at what you thought was your grief.

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