Self Love or Selfishness ?

I have often wondered about the difference between Self Love and Selfishness. How much of self love is okay and when does it become selfishness. Mostly the people that I have seen growing up were either in Self denial or Selfish. I have always come around the black and white brushes of Selfless and Selfish classification of people , the term  self love was new to me in early 2000 where people were writing books about it, sharing motivation quotes on it where they were changing the game of society . for example the mothers who were going out to work leaving babies behind were  called Selfish , or working daughter in laws were selfish for not taking care of in laws and house chores. Where as on the other hand , self negligence and self denial were highly appreciated and admired qualities of being an ideal woman of 70s and 90s. Unfortunately what was often seen was a selfless person surrounded by bunch of selfish people sucking his/her blood and occasionally thrown with admiration remarks  and the poor one only thriving on these remarks.

Then comes the new era of people who are indulged in self love but are not selfish . They will take care of themselves and of others too . More of themselves and less of others 😉  almost negligible. They will force themselves on others because they think it is their right. They need the things that they need irrespective of situation around them. There is problem in their moral compass which fails to tell them where lies the problem. They are always just and right in their opinions , only others have done injustice to them so far. The difference between the previous era and current is the diminished paint of black and white and it is no longer easier to point finger who is selfish now. Everything has been neatly hidden under the carpet of self love without their conscious thinking.

I think the idea behind the post was not so much of rant which it turned out to be  but a conclusive and educative one,  to be aware of our own behavior and its impact to people around us. Where and how  do we set the limit to our self love ? I am not a fan of being in self denial, we should all strive to be happy which is our right but it shouldn’t be at cost of somebody else’s happiness. Our comfort , pleasures should not be come from somebody’s discomfort . Empathy is an attribute that we all need to learn and always keep  practicing it because there is never enough. There will always be situations where we will lack empathy and then we have to ask ourselves deliberately  practice it. Self love is good , much needed and deserved but we need to keep an eye on our subconscious or conscious evil self that it should never become selfishness.

 

Writer’s Quote Wednesday-Rumi

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From the wisdom of Rumi , I bring you another Jewel . It is from Masnavi Book 1 and Chapter name is  “In Things Spiritual There Is No Division”. I held my breath for few seconds after I read this verse, so powerful and so deep ! Indeed when we imagine ourselves as spiritual beings all notions of division disappear from the mind be it of man or woman, rich or poor, beautiful or ugly , young or old , black or white. We are just spirits or souls. And as we imagine  ourselves as mere soul, everyone else becomes our equal  immediately. We then assume ourselves as same matter and feel the urging sense of belongingness to another world that conforms to our origination from a single source.There is a peace observed in spirituality because all the desires are dropped for the moment, the mind which teaches division,  shuts down to listen to all  the beautiful cosmic silences . The eyes close then themselves because vision is hindrance to concentration pouring in and there is energy flowing in and around you. Meditation is a beautiful way to spiritual experience and knowing yourself .Few minutes of silence in meditation daily are enough to satiate your soul .

Writer’s Quote Wednesday-Malcolm X

On Death Anniversary of Malcolm X, Remembering his powerful words!

My Journey with Hijab

For Wednesday Ritual Quotation , I chose this quote from Malcolm X, inspired from his autobiography that I started reading a month back but didn’t finish it yet, I am more busy in blogging these days and reading posts from WordPress Reader than  my own  list.

Malcolm X was a strong leader with a great vision,unfortunately he didn’t live long enough to write many books but what he left is worth reading! It somehow gives me that strength that I am looking for,his words are empowering which compels for  the need of self-respect and most essential ,everyone’s right to freedom! . He lived for it and died for it.

Most of his quotes are about freedom and equality , I really like this one as it showed his empathetic side and greater understanding for human nature!

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We should not be in  a hurry to blame others or categorize people into good…

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Writer’s Quote Wednesday-Rumi

 

I guess it is the time again to bring you from the gems of Mawlana Rumi. It is one of my favorite quote and I am sure will become your favorite too.

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Quotes are nothing but affirmation of unspoken thoughts residing inside your mind and when you read them , they resonate inside with those words and your heart tells you it is the truth ! Mawlana Rumi has mastered this art of capturing these thoughts and they serve as sign and reminder of our true inner feelings.

The biggest proof of this quote is my  blog and I  keep coming back here to pen down my thoughts, although a virtual space but it is still a place for refuge for being with my own self where that otherwise quiet person inside, speaks . This is what I like the most may be to be clear in my mind, to hear what’s going inside . Sometimes some stories unfold, sometimes  old memories resurface and sometimes there is good old  friend’s advice.There is so much going on, we just need some time to stop and listen, to be our own friend .

We may not be able to pursue our passion as full time thing because of many reasons in life but we can always find some time to do the things we like to do the most. It serves as a form of meditational therapy to keep you calm and at peace.

Do let me know what you all like to do ?  Happy Wednesday Everyone !

 

 

When Life jibes !

Life has been taking few jibes over me since I lost my bag and everything important with it . Some of the funny ones I  remember are shared here :

  • Walking through your favorites stores without card or enough money, that too during sales season  and for a week ( almost killed me 😦 )
  • Laptop Charger got broken  (  we have a saying in hindi  ‘ Ghareebi mei aata Geela’  which literally translates to ‘ During Poverty you got your flour wet’ , that sounds foolish but it means  ‘In adversity everything turns bad’  )
  • You have a guest at home  expecting the best hospitality  and  you have limited cash.
  • You want to eat at a restaurant and then  the cashier tells you you they don’t accept credit card ! You come out with a sad face and broken heart.  Sigh** 
  • Beggars coming to you and asking for coins and how you wish you can tell them they have more in their bowl/cup  than you in your pocket!

Jokes apart,  I have received my debit card yesterday , life is coming back to normal again . Thanks everyone for your love , concerns and sharing your experiences with me .

There is an old age saying Whatever happens happens for good , it is true to an extent that we always have  learnings and awakenings from the darkest moments of our lives. I actually lived the difference between what we need and what we want in life in the last week. For example I want an Iphone or Samsung Galaxy S6 but my requirements can be fulfilled with a J5 or even lesser expensive one. I just need a smartphone which has decent features and suits my  budget so I picked up one such phone. Another example , We decided to do our grocery with what we need for a week to survive: some fruits, veggies, milk  ,eggs , oil and bread . It wasn’t expensive compared to my normal grocery tours where I spend hours musing and a heavy amount and then come back with everything not in my shopping list .The human needs are simple and affordable , they don’t force  you to go out of the way to have them. It is our desires , social pressure and inner complexes. Although there is part of world population which is struggling to meet their basic needs ,  the discussion here is for people who can easily afford them and are still struggling with their wants and  like to have which ultimately turns them unhappy  and demotivated.

I think the best life is a minimalist’s life,  just take care of what you need and leave the rest for others. Life will become easy and more peaceful. Another thing to add to my to list of 2017, incorporating the minimalist’s approach .

Have a nice weekend everyone !

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3 Day 3 Quotes Challenge : Day 3

This is my  last  Quote of last day of this challenge , I hope you have enjoyed them all these days.

Rules of the Challenge :

  1. Post 3 quotes on 3 consecutive days
  2. Thank the person who nominated you
  3. Nominate 3 new bloggers each single day of the challenge

My nominees for today  are: farheen siddiqui , JaniceLOUBNANYA

I am sharing  4 thoughts from  the bestseller called ‘ The Four Agreements’ by Don Miguel Ruiz.  Below is gist of wonderful pieces of advice  given in the book.

1.Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

 

 

3 Day 3 Quotes Challenge : Day 2

This is my Day 2 for this challenge so I have to nominate another 3 bloggers , rules are same again , I have mentioned again for the ease.

Rules of the Challenge :

  1. Post 3 quotes on 3 consecutive days
  2. Thank the person who nominated you
  3. Nominate 3 new bloggers each single day of the challenge

My nominees for today  are: accidentallyinked , Papatia , revels1

the  quote  I am sharing for today  is from Hazrat Inayat Khan, which I stumbled upon while reading quotes from Goodreads.com  . It has created a curiosity to read  more of his works. Not much I could gather except that he spread the idea of Sufism in the West and is considered to be the founder of International Sufi Movement and a bridge between East and West.

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I never heard his name much in Indian Sufi Lineage although he was born and raised in India,He also spent a lot of time travelling abroad and lived many years in Europe , ultimately  came back to his homeland, buried in complex of  Nizamuddin Dargah in New Delhi . The reasons I am anticipating  could be differences in  his teaching methodology and ideology  compared to traditional Sufism or the other case could be my lack of knowledge for Indian Sufis . Well, I didn’t read enough to comment more about him , that’s why more curious to read his work.,what I could gather from researching online  is his  teachings were based on Universalism  and coming from all religions . We can always take the good teachings from people no matter where it comes from at least that is what I believe in.

 

 

3 Day 3 Quotes Challenge & WQW

Thank you rāhā§yā ( from  Untold Diaries) for nominating me for  3 Day 3 quotes Challenge which I wholeheartedly accept as I love sharing quotes, for today I will merges it with my Weekly Wednesday Quotes 🙂

Rules of the Challenge :

  1. Post 3 quotes on 3 consecutive days
  2. Thank the person who nominated you
  3. Nominate 3 new bloggers each single day of the challenge

My nominees are: Hiba , Elegies And Aches , joyroses13

Here is my short poem for today’s Quote by Bulleh Shah , who was a Sufi Punjabi Poet , a Humanist and Philosopher.He lived in 17th Century and most of his stories comes through legends passed on to people as  verses/couplets.

Born: 1680 Uch, Bahawalpur, Punjab, Pakistan

Died: 1757 (aged 77) Kasur, Punjab, Pakistan

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“If the divine is found through ablutions
surely frogs and fish would find him first
if the divine is hidden in jungles
the cattle would have discovered him by now
O Bulleh, the divine is found by those
with pure and true heart ”

The words are so simple yet powerful and wise, I think the problems of people since centuries remain the same but the level of  wisdom  is surely on decline.The people are literate but not educated, educated but not wise . Simpler things are being made complicated everyday, debated and fought over while the major problems remain overlooked ,unsought and unresolved.The poor becomes poorer and sad even sadder.Everyone is so focused to see other’s problems and faults. There is fire inside our own home but we are busy watching others burning  , I wish everyone realizes  it and becomes wiser to understand the truth which we have blindfolded ourselves to.

Self knowing and improving the person residing in your body should be the  goal. Educating yourself of your own being is half the battle won against all known and unknown demons.

 The punjabi original version is below in transliteration, I know the original words always have deeper impact :

Jeh Raab milda naatheya dhoteya ta milda dadua machiya
Jeh Raab milda jangal bele ta milda gaua bachiya
Jeh Raab milda vich masiti ta milda cham chidikiya
Bulleya Raab ohna nu milda nitta jena diya sachiya

In response to  my weekly submission on SilverThreading.com

http://silverthreading.com/2015/12/02/writers-quote-wednesday-bewow-a-month-of-christmas-quotes-laura-ingalls-wilder/

Writer’s Quote Wednesday: Mother Teresa

For the Wednesday Ritual of Quotation I am sharing with you all , a beautiful quotation from Mother Teresa.

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( Yes, I know it is not wednesday today but  better late than never ,  and  I am also whining too much about my  work load from a month  but  I am almost there to finish my project 🙂  )

This quote held me with itself for quite sometime, When  I read it for first time  I couldn’t read  or search for other quotes for many days, it hooked me completely  in its truth and beauty and how in simple words,  Mother Teresa said it all. I do miss her though I never met her in my life .Her presence in this world was like a lamp  keeping away  darkness by teaching  us  humanity  , love and kindness. We need more such humanitarian leaders today. The world needs more of them than ever.

We are often complaining about poverty  in  some nations, those who have enough complain for  not being rich, some are content with what they have but more is always better. Our scales of measuring  success are also material and monetary but this is how everyone counts affluence , lavishness and prosperity ! But nobody talks about prevailing unseen poverty in our lives, poverty of loneliness , poverty of heart ,  poverty in relationships , poverty in our thoughts , poverty of morality , poverty of humanity. The world is getting poor day by day but can we see it?

We meet people everyday for work or outside, greet them , talk to them to a bare minimum . Do they know us as real us ?,  even after spending 8 hours together in  a day. We are connected to people online by being physically present with others ,why ? may be to diminish our sense of loneliness and the fact is we are all lonely  even when surrounded by people because they are not the ones who love us or our loved ones .We all need to be loved and that is what our hearts are yearning for .

My life experiences taught me that  poor is not the one who is not  able to eat good but the one  who  is not able to sleep good.We need to love others for the seed of love will only grow  love and to be  kind to people around us . The feeling of love could only remove this poverty of  loneliness .

The key to happiness is also being grateful for the blessings of Allah and the Rizq(sustenance) that  He gave us which could be anything not only food or money ,  these hidden riches make us  actual rich in life. 

May Allah give us all richness in our hearts , thoughts and actions.Aameen.

In response to weekly activity held at  SilverThreading.com

http://silverthreading.com/2015/11/18/writers-quote-wednesday-bewow-paulo-coelho-magical-places/

Writer’s Quote Wednesday : Rumi

It is been another of hectic week at work and my brain is so drenched in coding that I do have  hardly any thoughts for my blogs  ( even in my dreams I am  debugging my code ) but I  am still trying to be regular with my Wednesday Quotes 🙂

For Writer’s Quote Wednesday , bringing you again from treasure of Rumi, I love  reading his quotes and books whenever I get time, they are full of wisdom and  resonate very well with my feelings,moods and thoughts,  so sharing another of his wonderful gem.

 ( In response to WQW at SilverThreading.com 

http://silverthreading.com/2015/11/11/mark-twain-quote-on-character/ ) 

When-you-go-through-a (1)

Reason for sharing this quote , I personally feel very associated with this quote , and I have observed it to be so true with my life so far. There are difficult time in everyone’s life ,we all try to be strong  but then there are those breaking  moments when one realizes this is my threshold ,I cannot take it any further! Patience is running up , time is passing by and things are not getting any better. Then also come in self doubt , was it right decision I made ? or am I not good enough!

We are helplessly trying out all the options but nothing works! There is anger and frustration piling up each passing day and we start to lose our motivation,We get sad about our situation . Comparison to  the  happy lives of others bring us more pessimism.We all reach a point  when we have thoughts of giving up on being strong and holding on  , Everything is pulling us to give up but there is something inside, asking us not to give up and hold on ,telling us Everything will be fine! and we wonder  when and how ?

So when you feel that  iota of hope amidst everything going bad, Jump on it and grab it quickly , because it is then when you are so close to things getting done,  finding solutions to your problem  or the end of bad times.

It is alright to cry ,but not alright to give up!

You are just there at end of night,  take a break from yourself ( from your bad mood), take time to think clearly, away from your problems ,say a silent prayer to your Lord for He knows what is inside every heart , just ask Him to ease your way and InshaAllah you will be soon out in the sun again !

( P .S : today again I have deja vu Murphy moment for the metro  but I didn’t get pushed out this time , a bit of Indian style worked for me )