When do we start being a Positive or a negative person ?

11 year old me: Abba , when I am praying or Reading Quran my mind always wanders off but it doesn’t happen when I watch tv or read another book which means I am only reading from my tongue but my heart and mind is not in there. I am so upset at myself.

Abba : (laughs firsts) I am glad you noticed it , please keep trying to focus and it will come inshallah . 

me: I feel bad that my prayers will not be accepted .

Abba: Look there is always a positive way to look at things . First of all you have realized it and you  already know what should you do about it. Even though you feel the prayers are not good enough there is still a part of your body ( your tongue) which is still busy in ibaadah of Allah swt, things are not as bad as we think they are. You keep trying to focus and soon you will pray with full focus and attention.That’s how we all learn and practice.

The above conversation is at least 20 years old between a 10 or 11 year old me and my paternal grandfather . It is one of the many wonderful memorable conversations I had with him which have shaped the person I am. It was the first thing that played in my mind yesterday after talking to a friend who refuses to see the positive side of life and not being optimistic for the days when things will be better. She told me I am not as positive person as you are which kept me thinking for long , what could be the reason for this difference in positivism where she clearly is lacking. Is it part of personality? Is it learnt  by self  with a conscious effort ? or is it constantly fed by our surroundings and people around us in our formative years .

I think all three reasons are valid and the most important one is the last one. The people around us, our parents our family , our environment,if they are positive or not. A child picks up the first vibes  and outlook to see life from his surroundings. Is my life or any other person’s life different from each other in terms of daily struggles ?  We are all in our bubble of life, struggling to survive and to be. We all have our share of problems and griefs, there might be difference in level and gravity of problems but we all have our share so why is it that some people could bounce back after a setback or problem while others cannot ? where is that subtle difference ? that difference might be coming with the  positive attitude in life. I think it is very important to create a positive environment around us for  ourselves , to preserve our sanity and imbibe the positive thinking in our children.

 

 

101 Simple Things that makes you happy Challenge

Recently I have been nominated by Stephanie  from ScaleSimple, for this challenge. I loved her list of 101 simple things that make you happy. While I started to write my list, I felt a bit childish ( after a long time :D)  and it seemed some overhead of work but once you are done , you will be surprised by the amount of things you should be grateful for in life than you actually are . It took me few days to complete this list  but I did it finally.

Happiness 101 Simple Things Challenge rules…

  • Write 101 Simple things that make you happy

  • Tag 5 bloggers who you would like to invite to take part in this challenge

  • Mention my blog in your post!

    so here is my list !

  1. Happiness is completing  your first fast in Ramadan.
  2. Happiness is breaking fast with loved ones.
  3. Happiness is cooking with  husband.
  4. Happiness is shopping with friends.
  5. Happiness is meeting an old pal.
  6. Happiness is travelling to a new place.
  7. Happiness is striking off the name of a Destination covered from your travel list.
  8. Happiness is sharing my food.
  9. Happiness is going home on Eid.
  10. Happiness is seeing kids of family.
  11. Happiness is buying a new book.
  12. Happiness  is eating my favorite dish cooked by  mother.
  13. Happiness is going back to places and eating at my favorite restaurants
  14. Happiness is getting things right in first attempt.
  15. Happiness is going to all girls meet out.
  16. Happiness is getting  a surprise birthday gift from  a friend living faraway.
  17. Happiness is  when  mother in law says she is missing me.
  18. Happiness is cooking for friends.
  19. Happiness is surprising  hubby with his favorite dish.
  20. Happiness is in smelling aroma of Biryani.
  21. Happiness is finding my favorite color in flowers while walking .
  22. Happiness is when someone smiles at me .
  23. Happiness is talking all night with  cousins.
  24. Happiness is making hot chocolate on cold winter night .
  25. Happiness is booking my next trip.
  26. Happiness is finding  way  back when I am lost in my explorations.
  27.  Happiness is being on sea side.
  28. Happiness is  changing interiors of  home.
  29. Happiness is buying a new teapot.
  30. Happiness is matching my kitchen accessories.
  31. Happiness is collecting different types of teas.
  32. Happiness is publishing a new post on my blog.
  33. Happiness is finding new friends on wordpress.
  34. Happiness is watching Tom and Jerry.
  35. Happiness is reading Charles Dickens.
  36. Happiness is being at Granier and 365 (Spanish Cafe chain)
  37. Happiness is eating Dosa  in Belgium ( South Indian Food)
  38. Happiness is buying  a new scarf for my Hijab Collection.
  39. Happiness is wearing a gharara ( Traditional Dress)
  40. Happiness is buying yet another nude shade of lipstick .
  41. Happiness  is leaving from work early on fridays 🙂 .
  42. Happiness is workout at gym.
  43. Happiness  is going for long walk .
  44. Happiness is greenery around.
  45. Happiness is waking up late on weekends.
  46. Happiness is being pampered when you are sick .
  47. Happiness is  remembering my brother’s childhood adventures.
  48. Happiness is visiting my grandparents.
  49. Happiness is eating my homemade jam.
  50. Happiness is going for a  picnic.
  51. Happiness is watching a football match together with husband.
  52. Happiness is watching old movies.
  53. Happiness is looking at childhood pictures.
  54. Happiness is  watching  goal scored  from your favorite football team.
  55. Happiness is skyping with your best friend.
  56. Happiness is discovering a shortcut to home .
  57. Happiness is call from father.
  58. Happiness is doing crazy things with my brother (example discussing the growth of his newly born fish.)
  59. Happiness is baking a cake !
  60. Happiness is reading Rumi’s Mathnavi.
  61. Happiness is seeing your family after long time.
  62. Happiness is your cousin’s wedding.
  63. Happiness is solving a puzzle.
  64. Happiness is seeing your wedding ring everyday and remembering the day.
  65. Happiness is learning to sew .
  66. Happiness is scribbling into my diary.
  67. Happiness is painting.
  68. Happiness is taking pictures.
  69. Happiness is a cup of coffee.
  70. Happiness is growing  your plants.
  71. Happiness is daydreaming.
  72. Happiness is spring.
  73. Happiness is watching your favorite comedy show.
  74. Happiness is sharing a joke on whatsapp.
  75. Happiness is cooking for iftar(traditional cooking for ramadan).
  76. Happiness is cheesecake.
  77. Happiness is looking at your organised cupboard! (though it remains only for a day :D)
  78. Happiness is another pair of footwear.
  79. Happiness is smell of your favorite perfume.
  80. Happiness is a bug fixed ( when I code 😀 )
  81. Happiness is a long chat with a  friend living far away.
  82. Happiness is news of newborn of your friends.
  83. Happiness is checking  pictures of your cousin’s wedding when you can’t go and rest all are sending pictures and doing live commentary.
  84. Happiness is when your cousins tells you they are missing you at a get together event.
  85. Happiness is catching your husband doing something silly.
  86. Happiness is when you realize you have finally got rid of an old bad habit.
  87. Happiness is when you have lose some weight accidently.
  88. Happiness is getting a book as gift.
  89. Happiness is Sales Shopping.
  90. Happiness is complaining to your husband that you have nothing to wear ! 😉
  91. Happiness is donuts.
  92. Happiness is  learning something new.
  93. Happiness is visiting your motherland.
  94. Happiness is being in your home town.
  95. Happiness  is going to your parent’s home.
  96. Happiness is being in your old room at your parent’s home.
  97. Happiness is seeing your old toys.
  98. Happiness is sleeping with mommy.
  99. Happiness is buying a new pen ( if you love to write before typing took over)
  100. Happiness is feeling of being loved .
  101. Happiness is a thank you note !

Feel free to participate in this challenge , I am keeping my nominations open to all who would like to do this ! 🙂

 

3 Day 3 Quotes Challenge : Day 3

This is my  last  Quote of last day of this challenge , I hope you have enjoyed them all these days.

Rules of the Challenge :

  1. Post 3 quotes on 3 consecutive days
  2. Thank the person who nominated you
  3. Nominate 3 new bloggers each single day of the challenge

My nominees for today  are: farheen siddiqui , JaniceLOUBNANYA

I am sharing  4 thoughts from  the bestseller called ‘ The Four Agreements’ by Don Miguel Ruiz.  Below is gist of wonderful pieces of advice  given in the book.

1.Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

 

 

3 Day 3 Quotes Challenge : Day 2

This is my Day 2 for this challenge so I have to nominate another 3 bloggers , rules are same again , I have mentioned again for the ease.

Rules of the Challenge :

  1. Post 3 quotes on 3 consecutive days
  2. Thank the person who nominated you
  3. Nominate 3 new bloggers each single day of the challenge

My nominees for today  are: accidentallyinked , Papatia , revels1

the  quote  I am sharing for today  is from Hazrat Inayat Khan, which I stumbled upon while reading quotes from Goodreads.com  . It has created a curiosity to read  more of his works. Not much I could gather except that he spread the idea of Sufism in the West and is considered to be the founder of International Sufi Movement and a bridge between East and West.

There-are-two-aspects-of

I never heard his name much in Indian Sufi Lineage although he was born and raised in India,He also spent a lot of time travelling abroad and lived many years in Europe , ultimately  came back to his homeland, buried in complex of  Nizamuddin Dargah in New Delhi . The reasons I am anticipating  could be differences in  his teaching methodology and ideology  compared to traditional Sufism or the other case could be my lack of knowledge for Indian Sufis . Well, I didn’t read enough to comment more about him , that’s why more curious to read his work.,what I could gather from researching online  is his  teachings were based on Universalism  and coming from all religions . We can always take the good teachings from people no matter where it comes from at least that is what I believe in.

 

 

3 Day 3 Quotes Challenge & WQW

Thank you rāhā§yā ( from  Untold Diaries) for nominating me for  3 Day 3 quotes Challenge which I wholeheartedly accept as I love sharing quotes, for today I will merges it with my Weekly Wednesday Quotes 🙂

Rules of the Challenge :

  1. Post 3 quotes on 3 consecutive days
  2. Thank the person who nominated you
  3. Nominate 3 new bloggers each single day of the challenge

My nominees are: Hiba , Elegies And Aches , joyroses13

Here is my short poem for today’s Quote by Bulleh Shah , who was a Sufi Punjabi Poet , a Humanist and Philosopher.He lived in 17th Century and most of his stories comes through legends passed on to people as  verses/couplets.

Born: 1680 Uch, Bahawalpur, Punjab, Pakistan

Died: 1757 (aged 77) Kasur, Punjab, Pakistan

If-the-divine-is-found

“If the divine is found through ablutions
surely frogs and fish would find him first
if the divine is hidden in jungles
the cattle would have discovered him by now
O Bulleh, the divine is found by those
with pure and true heart ”

The words are so simple yet powerful and wise, I think the problems of people since centuries remain the same but the level of  wisdom  is surely on decline.The people are literate but not educated, educated but not wise . Simpler things are being made complicated everyday, debated and fought over while the major problems remain overlooked ,unsought and unresolved.The poor becomes poorer and sad even sadder.Everyone is so focused to see other’s problems and faults. There is fire inside our own home but we are busy watching others burning  , I wish everyone realizes  it and becomes wiser to understand the truth which we have blindfolded ourselves to.

Self knowing and improving the person residing in your body should be the  goal. Educating yourself of your own being is half the battle won against all known and unknown demons.

 The punjabi original version is below in transliteration, I know the original words always have deeper impact :

Jeh Raab milda naatheya dhoteya ta milda dadua machiya
Jeh Raab milda jangal bele ta milda gaua bachiya
Jeh Raab milda vich masiti ta milda cham chidikiya
Bulleya Raab ohna nu milda nitta jena diya sachiya

In response to  my weekly submission on SilverThreading.com

http://silverthreading.com/2015/12/02/writers-quote-wednesday-bewow-a-month-of-christmas-quotes-laura-ingalls-wilder/

End of Project

Hello Everyone ! Yes Don’t be surprised  I am still alive :D, I know I have been off this blog for almost a week but finally my stressful project is over Alhamdolillah.   Like every difficult situation, this project too taught me new things of which  I was scared to do in beginning  but at the end I was enjoying doing them.  There is no doubt that success lies outside our comfort zone, sometimes we need to push ourselves much  which causes us some pain and distress , and we start to think we are pushing  ourselves beyond our limits but it is not true, we actually don’t know our limits , only Allah knows what He has put in us,what we are capable of .He throws us  in a situation just to make us realize of our unrealized capability !

Few things I would like to share with you that helped me during my project :

Planning is very important:  A Good Planning is half done, Break your project into doable tasks and assign a timeline for each .

Putting extra hours in executing : You might have to put extra hours to reach your planned timeline for completing the tasks, since you will stumble upon  unknown problems as you keep moving forward.(Better to add some time in your planning for such unwelcomed guest problems)

Donot be shy and ask Help : If you think you are stuck in a problem too long , ask help from your colleagues or friends, donot waste much time looking for it. May be someone can help you solve it in 5 mins.

Too tired and problem doesn’t get solved : Take a break, go home , if at home go out ,take some fresh air and then analyze problem with fresh mind.

Ideally I should be celebrating it, jumping crazy on my bed and running  round and round in my home since I almost worked day and night to complete this assignment but I am not doing any of it as my husband is away for some work and alone is no fun 😦

I was making plans of how can I keep myself busy with out him , but boredom is so annoying , It doesn’t let you do anything interesting.

While I am going to refill my water bottle, you can enjoy here my first bitstrips that’s  all I did for today,

bitstrip1

 

Writer’s Quote Wednesday-Malcolm X

For Wednesday Ritual Quotation , I chose this quote from Malcolm X, inspired from his autobiography that I started reading a month back but didn’t finish it yet, I am more busy in blogging these days and reading posts from WordPress Reader than  my own  list.

Malcolm X was a strong leader with a great vision,unfortunately he didn’t live long enough to write many books but what he left is worth reading! It somehow gives me that strength that I am looking for,his words are empowering which compels for  the need of self-respect and most essential ,everyone’s right to freedom! . He lived for it and died for it.

Most of his quotes are about freedom and equality , I really like this one as it showed his empathetic side and greater understanding for human nature!

Dont-be-in-a-hurry-to

We should not be in  a hurry to blame others or categorize people into good or bad just because they are  doing things differently than us or they don’t  do what we do , or  think like we think .We do not know the ground realities what has shaped their behavior and  personality.People do change with time even if they are doing something wrong today, they might correct it tomorrow. Some learn things faster and others take time to understand and implement  in their lives ,but the fact is everyone is on a learning process .What we were few years before, We are not the same person anymore.Allah has guided us ,to be wiser and a better human being( from example of people around me, I see them learning and evolving or at least making an effort ),

If I form an opinion about a person that he/she is bad based on their thoughts/actions today ,  I am forming a barrier between me and them. I am restricting myself  to  love or be kind to them as I do for others who agree with my thought. Of-course, I do not wish evil for them but somehow in a deeper sense of being an equal in  creation I am violating my basic principle of treating  others well., or if I am being nice to them on outside ,do not like to make people feel bad, my heart is still not with my behavior.It is our perception  about them which stop us from being good to them,inside out.

So don’t give in to the urge of categorizing people in your mind, be kind to everyone and be nice , it is part of being you ! You might meet them tomorrow as better people or not,Allah knows.Do not make your behavior a reflection of theirs, because it is your OWN precious possession that you will carry forever.

(In response to Writers Quote Wednesday event held every Wednesday on Silver Threading, Link->)

Dealing with Failures

The pain of failure is always more than the happiness of success!

my_insta

We all have failed in our lives sometimes  and we have succeeded in many things, but the thing that keeps aching in our hearts is the failure ,that one thing we couldn’t achieve ! ,

The joy of achieving  is momentarily and the pain of losing  is stronger ,it has more impact and  stays longer.It could be  one of the reasons why most of us get depressed so easily and prefer to remain sad  than being happy!

But we all know,  all good things will  not happen everyday , each day will not be a perfect day , we can plan things ,work hard , spend our money for it  but nothing can ensure the success of our plans .

So what do we do when we fail or our plans fail apart from feeling angry,sad or even giving up ??

First ,We need to calm down and think what is bothering us ,

  • Our efforts gone wasted ?
  • Our money involved?
  • Low Self esteem?feeling low ?
  • Feeling ‘shame’ to tell it to people around?
  • Pressure from family or society ?

We need to know what is bothering us so we can find a solution ,

The effort and time are lost , well we have always learnt something while trying, Something which has added to our knowledge and experience  is never a loss.We know it now,what could  have been done extra to get it ,so  try again with more efforts and a better approach  to give your best shot.

Money is wasted, we could have done something else with it, it was our hard earned money, well what if the things were succeeded, would we have thought it this way? No, we always have to take into account the risk factor,should  be prepared for it, the best blessing is we are alive today and we  can earn it again!  We don’t have to waste our days (which are in fact portions of life) to mourn over it.Life in itself is more precious than to be wasted being sad about these failures.

Feeling low or unworthy: When we fail,we all feel low or unworthy of ourselves, we feel less fortunate  than others and less capable .We need to know we are all  similar but not same, our capabilities ,strengths ,weaknesses,they all vary and so do our interests.Comparing  yourself to someone who could do  some ‘x’ thing so easily or perfectly is not right, it could be his strong point and your weak point, We can always overcome our weaknesses by our efforts and will power to do the things.

Losing is a shame in most of the societies , we are shy to tell people that we failed or we couldn’t do it, Winning is a parameter of evaluating the respect to be given to us .People surrounding us add more to the grief by constantly asking about it. There are some,who even lost their confidence and  never bounced back ,well we do not have to be one of them. Losing is not shame, it is a symbol of being courageous to have tried what you wanted to do , you are not a winner today but tomorrow you can be !

We as muslims are always hopeful for the mercy of Allah, Everything is possible for Allah(‘Kun fayakun’ as it is said in Quran, He says Be and it is)  but He also  asks you to make an effort for it.The door is open , we need to make an effort to look out.Success or failure everything comes from Him as test or as gift  or as a rescue we never know.He knows Best.

So next time if you fail, don’t lose hope neither should you feel low,

Think about what is troubling you , and act upon it.

if you want to take another chance ,go for it.

You thought you gave your best , and there are no more chances to take!  then let it go, Some things are not meant to be . Leave them there, trust Allah and move ahead.Some better things must be waiting  for you on your way Insha Allah.

Writer’s Quote Wednesday- Rumi

Be-empty-of-worrying

Another wonderful quote from Rumi(A.S) that  I want to share with you , I loved it absolutely when I read it for the first time, It is from the Book ‘Essential Rumi’ .

If we look at our lives today , What is it? For me, it is 5 days of doing some similar work and 2 days doing something which could not be done in those 5 days, then waiting for the weekend  ,And  my life goes on  between the ’ week’ and ‘weekends’.

We are all stuck! Stuck in the circle, called routine! and there is no other way to live without this circle as well.

This routine has given us many things like getting worried for small little things about our work, home and elsewhere and building up stress  .We  manage to release some of it during weekends and get prepared for another week like a brave soldier. We crave for vacations and holidays , and dread to go back to our routine regardless it is a Sunday night or night before the end of  vacation  !

Coming back to the Quote, our minds are like empty pots, we are completely in power to choose what we fill it up with, most often we stuff it with too much worrying !  and we are so focussed  while worrying that we hardly see the other good things  in life. Worrying is nothing but a prison that confines us to think ,to see beyond , although the door is wide open.

Let’s empty our brains of worry and trust in Allah our creator, He  is enough for all our problems,we cannot achieve anything by worrying . What we can do is be proactive and manage our lives better. Do the things that need to be done and wait and be patient.  Be thankful to what we have, and fill our minds with good thoughts, gratitude and love for each other.

( In response to  Writers Quote Wednesday on Silver Threadings)

Writer’s Quote Wednesday – Rumi

Yesterday-I-was-clever

Inspired by Writer’s Quote Wednesday from Silver Threading (link at bottom of post) , to write inspiring posts based on your favorite quotations .

One of my favorite writer, poet is Rumi( A.S) who was also a sufi saint .His writings are truly inspiring,They still hold true  for anyone who  is reading them  and you can connect with him instantly .His works are still valid  although he lived in 13th  century.

Sometimes  Rumi  leave you in mystery with his words  and you feel lost ,the more you try to understand,you end up in more confusion, so you just leave it there and move on in your life As life is full of unpredictable series of events,you  then come across some incidents which make you realize what he was saying  and the meaning behind those mysterious words.Well I can write on and on about him, no wonder students do their research on his work.

One of the quotations that actually helped me change and focus on myself, is the one above .We all want to change the world, we all have ideas about what others should do, what is wrong with them and the world , but we never look at our own selves!  What is wrong with us ? What can I do about it? What should I change in myself that can benefit us both, me and the world? If everyone starts to change himself/herself ,Will not the world be a better place to live ?

I started my journey with many questions that keep outpouring and I am seeking their answers :

What is inside of me ? Am I just this flesh and bones or something more ? What is locked inside that speaks to me , sometimes in evil tones,sometimes in tones of Heaven, ?

What is it that makes me happy when I say happy from inside? What is it when I say you touched my soul , when physically you didn’t !

How do words influence us ? How can you say few words and just calm me down! How much  deep is the depth  of words and love,

What is it when I say my soul sister, what connection do I feel with you?

What strength is it in love that keeps us going through all times?

How does the hatred burns me from inside although nobody can touch it,

Where have we  met before ,though I am meeting you first time , but I know I have known you for so long ,or may be always.

and so on 🙂

Well you see what Rumi did to me through his few words, something was already burning inside , he just confirmed it.  Hope to share more of my reflections on his work and of other great writers/leaders who inspired me to ‘My Journey with Hijab’

(The Event is hosted every wednesday by Silver Threading ,you can check latest post  

http://silverthreading.com/2015/09/30/writers-quote-wednesday-sue-vincent/

Btw I found about it through post of my blogger sister Ameena k.g you can check her blog  ,She has nice poetry. , https://randomsbyarandom.wordpress.com/ )