When Life jibes !

Life has been taking few jibes over me since I lost my bag and everything important with it . Some of the funny ones I  remember are shared here :

  • Walking through your favorites stores without card or enough money, that too during sales season  and for a week ( almost killed me 😦 )
  • Laptop Charger got broken  (  we have a saying in hindi  ‘ Ghareebi mei aata Geela’  which literally translates to ‘ During Poverty you got your flour wet’ , that sounds foolish but it means  ‘In adversity everything turns bad’  )
  • You have a guest at home  expecting the best hospitality  and  you have limited cash.
  • You want to eat at a restaurant and then  the cashier tells you you they don’t accept credit card ! You come out with a sad face and broken heart.  Sigh** 
  • Beggars coming to you and asking for coins and how you wish you can tell them they have more in their bowl/cup  than you in your pocket!

Jokes apart,  I have received my debit card yesterday , life is coming back to normal again . Thanks everyone for your love , concerns and sharing your experiences with me .

There is an old age saying Whatever happens happens for good , it is true to an extent that we always have  learnings and awakenings from the darkest moments of our lives. I actually lived the difference between what we need and what we want in life in the last week. For example I want an Iphone or Samsung Galaxy S6 but my requirements can be fulfilled with a J5 or even lesser expensive one. I just need a smartphone which has decent features and suits my  budget so I picked up one such phone. Another example , We decided to do our grocery with what we need for a week to survive: some fruits, veggies, milk  ,eggs , oil and bread . It wasn’t expensive compared to my normal grocery tours where I spend hours musing and a heavy amount and then come back with everything not in my shopping list .The human needs are simple and affordable , they don’t force  you to go out of the way to have them. It is our desires , social pressure and inner complexes. Although there is part of world population which is struggling to meet their basic needs ,  the discussion here is for people who can easily afford them and are still struggling with their wants and  like to have which ultimately turns them unhappy  and demotivated.

I think the best life is a minimalist’s life,  just take care of what you need and leave the rest for others. Life will become easy and more peaceful. Another thing to add to my to list of 2017, incorporating the minimalist’s approach .

Have a nice weekend everyone !

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The Idea of a simple marriage!

For us ,the idea of a simple wedding is very boring , there is no fun in it,  no music, no big gathering ,not a good venue?? What ??

Although being muslims ,Islam encourages us to have simpler marriages, but if we look to our wedding extravaganza, it is no where even close to being simple!

A marriage has more meaning than only having fun ,music or good food ! it is how you start your life ,,with values, expectations and commitments.A great wedding cannot  ensure you a happy life or vice versa .

In times of  our Prophet,wedding were simple affairs, if someone has no money to throw even a small feast , people were bringing their own food to eat together, the idea was to share the happiness and give good wishes for new life.Even teaching some verses of Quran to bride was acceptable  as a mahr(wedding gift) from groom. Well now, we look down upon people whose wedding locations do not  seem good enough, we don’t even want to attend !! The idea of being simple is  now more associated with poverty , but even if someone is poor, Is it a shame ?? How our society looks  down at poor people even rips their self esteem as if they committed a crime !

Well to keep within the topic, I would come back to the advantages that I observed from a simple marriage , I have listed here, hope it helps people who support this idea too , :

  1. Does not put financial burden on your parents and yourself.You don’t have to delay your wedding  for years to save thousands of bucks and then spending all that hard-earned money just in one day,
  2. Avoids unnecessary stress before and after the wedding which doesn’t let you enjoy the best moments of your life.
  3. Gives you enough time to enjoy,  You can offer your obligatory prayers peacefully, personally meet your guests, Imagine it is your most important day and you are missing your prayers??  Why ? because you are too dressed up in that suffocating heavy dress, oodles of makeup, jewellery and high heels, you can hardly walk without support, and you need to be on stage for your guests at cost of missing your Salah! That’s how most of us start our new life ,
  4. Otherwise you are busy doing some traditions which makes you exhausted in all the events ranging from 1-4 days depending on place/traditions.
  5. Avoiding social pressure of how their idea of marriage should be like, it’s your wedding and it should be based on your suitability not theirs.
  6. Avoid Expectation of people about the event, their unwelcome judgements ranging from everything you wear, how you looked ,how your wedding has been organised, your budget ,what has your father given you in  presents (dowry between the brackets) , and what has your husband given you as gift, they want to know everything.

for point 5,6 the question is why are we doing this to ourselves ?

Giving liberty to others to give opinion about our life, and how  our wedding should be organised ? Judging girl’s father on basis of place he chose for the wedding or food he ordered for the guests but not what is actually giving away, a fully grown  piece of his heart which he has so well-preserved all his life? Who let them judge us or our family? of course it’s us .. we played  victims  of society, and let it happen , however great our wedding could be , people will anyway find some flaws , especially some in-laws to put down their new daughter in law and her family .

I truly support the idea of simple wedding, which revolves around feelings and not show off, how much money or gifts you give to your daughter, it will never make sure her happiness !! Her happiness lies in finding a  person who values her for who she is ,not how much money she is worth for. Your daughter is priceless , you as a girl are priceless, your feelings your emotions are more valuable than anything! Know your self-worth  ! Look for the right man not the rich man and things will become easy for you InshaAllah.

P.S: I am trying to live the sunnah and experience the beauty of it.Life is getting simpler and easier.,Alhamdolillah.

(some common vocabulary for people who don’t know: Salah is obligatory prayer for a muslim and Sunnah are sayings/teachings/practices of our prophet)

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