Body shaming has not much explicitly mentioned in our societies, It is only non serious small little hilarious remarks or advices you get from people every now and then regarding your weight ,height or color of the skin. Your body could be a topic of discussion for people and sometimes direct remarks are shot as well.This is so normal and acceptable practice in our South East Asian societies and we can hardly protest, those who dare to , are often regarded as misbehaved ones.
I have always been taught to never reply back to elders for any such remarks otherwise people will question my upbringing ( what kind of a daughter my mother has raised , an audacious and shameless girl! ) so sometimes words just remained in my mouth and much longer they remained in my mind .
I have seen women going into depression for not losing weight even after trying everything , people making fun of them at social or family gathering, even family members don’t spare them. Somewhere while trying to keep up the smiling face they were probably crying inside. At the end of the day either white , brown or dark, short or tall , slim or bulky , black or blue eyes , these are all diverse ways how people can vary from each another based on their region , climate and living like any other species vary , we don’t want to end up looking all same right ? so why worry so much for how we should look then rather how we actually look and be happy with that . The current parameters of beauty are in contrast with what it were in the past, having a belly was sign of prosperity and richness, Being thin was a symbol of poverty and starvation ! so let no parameter define your beauty except on moral and spiritual grounds or limit your confidence, let no fashion police put down your spirits. We are all beautiful in the way Allah created us, We are all struggling with our own issues and problems so why put an extra stress because someone stupid thinks you are not beautiful so next time you see someone body shaming you or any third person in your presence , better shame them for being outrageous to talk about other’s bodies and not minding their own business.
A few from young generation I have observed, stood up against it but they are more taken as rebels, their arguments are plainly rejected because they got angry at first place or said something mean before putting their arguments ! I don’t think blunt replying will only help, People might shut up in front of our faces but will continue behind our backs ! We need to fix the problem at root level by creating more awareness and educating people for this issue which is lying so unseen and not enough dealt with. What you can do is share such posts on your social media , write about it , talk about it with your family and cousins and you will be done with your bits 🙂
While I was going through the post about Body Shaming of Women in Pakistan by Saadia Haq , I always had wanted to write about it , I have spoken on it various times but this time under a dedicated post. You can read her post in link below :
https://saadiahaq.wordpress.com/2016/05/19/body-shaming-of-pakistans-women/
Love this post xx
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Thanks a lot ! 🙂
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You rock, simply fab this line ‘better shame them for being outrageous to talk about other’s bodies and not minding their own business.’ So true, we need to not stay nice girls and call people out on their objectionable commentary. Body shaming is very harmful in the longer run, Sana and am glad that you have written this post.
OMG, I am so humbled that you have quoted my post and its link here, thank you.
More power to us sisters!!
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Thank you Saadia 🙂 It was inspired by your post so it had to be there , I am a fan of your work and I want more people should read it! Growing old doesn’t only means aging and studying doesn’t mean just to get degrees, if we haven’t learnt the art of living n being human and respecting other humans and learning to unlearn all the bullshit and discard the bad things , we will never grown in real sense, your blog and mine we see the same spirit learn and educate ourselves and to others 🙂 Cheers to our sisterhood 🙂 We will meet one day InshaAllah !
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Oh I feel like floating in the air and also very humbled by your sentiments 🙂 Yes we also think very alike on many contentious topics that affect women’s lives. Off course, I agree but I also notice the parhe likhee jahil types so much in our societies, its galling.
Sometimes when am with women in remote areas, during my work I get astonishment and the feminist in me dances with joy to hear women that never saw a school in their lives having such enlightened and progressive mindsets as compared to degree holders.
As societies, we need to learn the art of humanity and kindness for sure!
InshAllah we will meet one day :), ameen!
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I really loved reading this post!!
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Thank you Fatima 🙂 Glad you enjoyed it.
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Thanks for this post. I always get people where I live commenting on my “lovely” white skin. I hate my white skin because of the suffering people of my colour caused all over the world. Plus I get no protection from UV rays : D. I try to raise the issue of skin colour with them at this opportunity and tell them how lovely they are just the way they are, and I tell them all about Melanin and why having Melanin is such a blessing from Allah. Insha’Allah one day people will look to the hearts and characteristics of others before they look to their physical appearance.
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InshaAllah Sister, love how you use small little opportunities to teach and spread knowledge.White skin is an obsession in Indian Subcontinent , we are taught since childhood how to be protect our skin from sun, how to remove tan, which scrubs to use to increase fairness :D, if the child born is fair mother sighs a relief 😀 😀 and list goes on, i so wish people start to see the heart and soul of the person and not the physical aspects .
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Insha’Allah, Insha’Allah, Insha’Allah Sister.
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I really like your post…I’ve seen and experienced body shaming in family situations and it is really hard to counter gracefully…this is my favourite line: ‘we don’t want to end up looking all same right ? so why worry so much for how we should look then rather how we actually look and be happy with that . ‘
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Thank you Janice for your support. The most difficult things sometimes are to overcome within the family and confront them politely without losing the goodwill !
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For sure, it’s a challenge finding a way to speak up that will work with the particular situation.
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I like your logic on this one for sure, seems like people are never happy with the way how women should or should not look and usually I have noticed its very common among family settings…
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I totally agree with your comments, It’s a shame how our society has adapted all these insensitive habits. In the family gatherings, I have also seen women bluntly criticizing young girls about their weight or skin color. I think it’s about time we stand up against these norms, and voice our thoughts but not with anger but with compassion as that’s the only way of getting our voice heard.
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Thank you Lala Rukh for reading and you are right we have to start addressing these issues in the right manner for the sake of our next generation so they dont have to listen and face all these things.I wish you a Happy Ramadan.
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Thank you for writing.
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Thank you for reading and supporting it 🙂
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This was greattt! We need to learn to “Love all shapes and shades” ❤
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Thank you Dear 🙂
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I like this post, thanks for sharing it.
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Thanks for reading !
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Oh this is so so important!! I loved it Sana. This is such an under-addressed topic in our society. Which needed to be addressed! Well done 👍🏻😇
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Thank you Zee ! I think so too people take it too casually to comment on our bodies..
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Thank you for bringing an awareness to this! Definitely needs to be said.
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Thanks for reading 🙂
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Self-love is everything! #saynotobodyshaming // #thankyou 💛
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Thank you for Reading 🙂
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You’re welcome Sunshine.
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