Recently I have had some conversations with few of friends and I have gone through this phase myself ,the topic doesn’t leave me for sometime. The pressures of an urban girl, our modern working women!
The social progress and development has given a lot of rights to women : Education, Equality, Work etc and we have excelled in all of the fields .We have dreamed , aspired , struggled and achieved our dreams to be educated and financially independent . While we were flying high happily in our lives suddenly we had our strings pulled back because we have hit 26 ,some 28 or 30 years in age and are still single. This pressure to be married and settled down is so much that it overshadows all the achievements of girls , from being an achiever they are reduced to a status of poor girls who are not yet married. Their families are in constant pressure to get their daughters married in our South East Asian societies . With each passing birthday , they have another year of being a ‘yet unmarried girl’. Not talking about the details of going into an arranged marriage and those pains of rejections or being forced to settle for someone who is not even their worth or match just because the clock is ticking.
Since the time we have remembered being ourselves as girls, we had this constant pressure of proving ourselves to what boys can do or are allowed to do . Infact this pressure of doing things turns into outperforming them and also became passion . The performance had boosted our confidence and self respect and we had got habitual of living with dignity and pride when all of sudden people around us starting stealing it in form of concern and pity. Why do we even allow ourselves to be reduced to an object of pity for others.We have put all of lives to become what we are today and then this constant pressure of marriage is draining all our energies (and later on it brings additional roles and responsibilities that I have kept for other parts of this topic) and for some even deviating from their life’s goal. They want to study further or get a better position in their work , or travel and later think about Marriage , Why not respect their opinions ?
I think it is not only working women’s problem who should somehow found a way to solve their problem but we need a collective change in mindset of our society to accept that there is not only a single age bracket to get married and once you pass that age you will not get married. We need to come out of that closed box thinking of being limited to our traditions and cultures , Be kind enough to understand these women who just finished their studies , started working, some of them still paying their education loans are now grilled with this pressure and are piling up the stress . So many of us have started having health issues which mostly are result of chronic stress.The message is not only for these urban working ladies to be strong enough to handle this pressure of marriage but also to our society to be gentle enough , to be more kind and more mature to accept the change and let go of their preconceived notion of marriageable age.
I am not against marriage , there is nothing better than a good marriage and also nothing worse than a bad marriage so we need to choose wisely . Why rush or be sad for things not happening right now. Things will happen at their own time , till then we need to continue living our lives. The ultimate goal of life is not only marriage . Do things that you love, increase your knowledge , learn new things , travel , practice kindness and patience and most importantly never ever give up your confidence !
More to be followed soon in other parts 🙂