The Idea of a simple marriage!

For us ,the idea of a simple wedding is very boring , there is no fun in it,  no music, no big gathering ,not a good venue?? What ??

Although being muslims ,Islam encourages us to have simpler marriages, but if we look to our wedding extravaganza, it is no where even close to being simple!

A marriage has more meaning than only having fun ,music or good food ! it is how you start your life ,,with values, expectations and commitments.A great wedding cannot  ensure you a happy life or vice versa .

In times of  our Prophet,wedding were simple affairs, if someone has no money to throw even a small feast , people were bringing their own food to eat together, the idea was to share the happiness and give good wishes for new life.Even teaching some verses of Quran to bride was acceptable  as a mahr(wedding gift) from groom. Well now, we look down upon people whose wedding locations do not  seem good enough, we don’t even want to attend !! The idea of being simple is  now more associated with poverty , but even if someone is poor, Is it a shame ?? How our society looks  down at poor people even rips their self esteem as if they committed a crime !

Well to keep within the topic, I would come back to the advantages that I observed from a simple marriage , I have listed here, hope it helps people who support this idea too , :

  1. Does not put financial burden on your parents and yourself.You don’t have to delay your wedding  for years to save thousands of bucks and then spending all that hard-earned money just in one day,
  2. Avoids unnecessary stress before and after the wedding which doesn’t let you enjoy the best moments of your life.
  3. Gives you enough time to enjoy,  You can offer your obligatory prayers peacefully, personally meet your guests, Imagine it is your most important day and you are missing your prayers??  Why ? because you are too dressed up in that suffocating heavy dress, oodles of makeup, jewellery and high heels, you can hardly walk without support, and you need to be on stage for your guests at cost of missing your Salah! That’s how most of us start our new life ,
  4. Otherwise you are busy doing some traditions which makes you exhausted in all the events ranging from 1-4 days depending on place/traditions.
  5. Avoiding social pressure of how their idea of marriage should be like, it’s your wedding and it should be based on your suitability not theirs.
  6. Avoid Expectation of people about the event, their unwelcome judgements ranging from everything you wear, how you looked ,how your wedding has been organised, your budget ,what has your father given you in  presents (dowry between the brackets) , and what has your husband given you as gift, they want to know everything.

for point 5,6 the question is why are we doing this to ourselves ?

Giving liberty to others to give opinion about our life, and how  our wedding should be organised ? Judging girl’s father on basis of place he chose for the wedding or food he ordered for the guests but not what is actually giving away, a fully grown  piece of his heart which he has so well-preserved all his life? Who let them judge us or our family? of course it’s us .. we played  victims  of society, and let it happen , however great our wedding could be , people will anyway find some flaws , especially some in-laws to put down their new daughter in law and her family .

I truly support the idea of simple wedding, which revolves around feelings and not show off, how much money or gifts you give to your daughter, it will never make sure her happiness !! Her happiness lies in finding a  person who values her for who she is ,not how much money she is worth for. Your daughter is priceless , you as a girl are priceless, your feelings your emotions are more valuable than anything! Know your self-worth  ! Look for the right man not the rich man and things will become easy for you InshaAllah.

P.S: I am trying to live the sunnah and experience the beauty of it.Life is getting simpler and easier.,Alhamdolillah.

(some common vocabulary for people who don’t know: Salah is obligatory prayer for a muslim and Sunnah are sayings/teachings/practices of our prophet)

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50 thoughts on “The Idea of a simple marriage!

  1. Rightly said sis. I remember an incident from my post wedding. When on second day of my marriage I announced that I want to offer salah. People were like shocked why now, you are full in makeup, people can come anytime to see u and bla bla. Even alhumdulilah my in laws family are practicing Muslims but unfortunately these society norms becomes big on most of the occasion 😦 Alhumdulilah that day my father in law supported me and I had finally offered my salah.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. So true! It’s sad though how even people who aren’t getting married like the bride or groom’s cousins are so occupied with the whole wedding their namaz is affected too 😦 it’s happened to me a lot unfortunately.
    But we need to bring an end to this. Every other wedding is bigger and looks richer than the previous, and on the cost of people’s happiness, relationships and health. May Allah guide us all.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Fauzia

    Very motivating article! Specially to unmarried girls like me.! In sha allah, inspired by these article, i will do my marriage as simple as possible!
    Very true, at the cost of salah, we all were busy attending functions and spending our time in stupid wordly affairs, which will not give profit at the end of our life.
    Infact, we should start our important chapter of life with beautiful islamic stuffs.. 🙂 and devote our time in Allah’s way and keep our selves engage in dhikr.. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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  5. Great article thank you! My husband and I had a very simple non-wedding, and while I liked it that way, sometimes I feel sad for him because I think he missed out on the traditional Bedouin wedding that all his cousins, sisters, etc have had. Reading this I feel encouraged that they missed out not us (:D), and what we did was closer to the Sunnah. Al-hamdulilah.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Loubnanya

    Salam alaykum sister,
    You are SO SO SO right! I totally agree with this post, a simple marriage based on halal things is so much better than a big marriage with a lot of concerns.
    I like to think that the marriage is not a wedding, it’s the life after the wedding. That is what we have to work for and to make beautiful.
    Masha’Allah my sister, i just discovered your blog and i love it because your topocs are really intressting and relevant.
    May allah bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Waslm my Sister, Jazakalla for reading my posts, and I am happy that you agree ! I hope more and more people opt for simple marriages and marriage should become an easier thing in world of today! May Allah bless you too! Happy to see you on my blog!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Loubnanya

    Ameen. I also hope that more people will see the wedding as it is. Only the beginning of a long journey.
    I only know indian weddings from the movies but i think it’s really similar to our arabic wedding, everything is exagerated, people do their best to find expensive places and the craziest animations. And all this for what? To satisfy other creatures who by the way will always criticize everything. We need to satisfy Allah first.
    Anyway, you already said everything in your post 🙂
    Ps: my family is still mad at me because i didn’t made a big wedding and invited all the family haha
    May Allah bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. hehe.. thanks for sharing your personal experience about your wedding, Donot worry they will understand it one day and they will tell you, you did the right thing. I am still answering people with their suspicious questions why my parents couldn’t attend my wedding(visa issues) and why I didn’t invite other people!

      Like

  8. Saima Masood

    Great article…I hold the same ideas on the subject. ..the problem is many ppl are aware of these things and do realize all this extravaganza is wrong which is against our religion too…but ppl are just scared to raise their voices..they don’t want to be social out cast…nice selection of topic..keep up the good work…and if u get time do drop by my blog too…cheers…happy blogging!!

    Liked by 1 person

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