For us ,the idea of a simple wedding is very boring , there is no fun in it, no music, no big gathering ,not a good venue?? What ??
Although being muslims ,Islam encourages us to have simpler marriages, but if we look to our wedding extravaganza, it is no where even close to being simple!
A marriage has more meaning than only having fun ,music or good food ! it is how you start your life ,,with values, expectations and commitments.A great wedding cannot ensure you a happy life or vice versa .
In times of our Prophet,wedding were simple affairs, if someone has no money to throw even a small feast , people were bringing their own food to eat together, the idea was to share the happiness and give good wishes for new life.Even teaching some verses of Quran to bride was acceptable as a mahr(wedding gift) from groom. Well now, we look down upon people whose wedding locations do not seem good enough, we don’t even want to attend !! The idea of being simple is now more associated with poverty , but even if someone is poor, Is it a shame ?? How our society looks down at poor people even rips their self esteem as if they committed a crime !
Well to keep within the topic, I would come back to the advantages that I observed from a simple marriage , I have listed here, hope it helps people who support this idea too , :
- Does not put financial burden on your parents and yourself.You don’t have to delay your wedding for years to save thousands of bucks and then spending all that hard-earned money just in one day,
- Avoids unnecessary stress before and after the wedding which doesn’t let you enjoy the best moments of your life.
- Gives you enough time to enjoy, You can offer your obligatory prayers peacefully, personally meet your guests, Imagine it is your most important day and you are missing your prayers?? Why ? because you are too dressed up in that suffocating heavy dress, oodles of makeup, jewellery and high heels, you can hardly walk without support, and you need to be on stage for your guests at cost of missing your Salah! That’s how most of us start our new life ,
- Otherwise you are busy doing some traditions which makes you exhausted in all the events ranging from 1-4 days depending on place/traditions.
- Avoiding social pressure of how their idea of marriage should be like, it’s your wedding and it should be based on your suitability not theirs.
- Avoid Expectation of people about the event, their unwelcome judgements ranging from everything you wear, how you looked ,how your wedding has been organised, your budget ,what has your father given you in presents (dowry between the brackets) , and what has your husband given you as gift, they want to know everything.
for point 5,6 the question is why are we doing this to ourselves ?
Giving liberty to others to give opinion about our life, and how our wedding should be organised ? Judging girl’s father on basis of place he chose for the wedding or food he ordered for the guests but not what is actually giving away, a fully grown piece of his heart which he has so well-preserved all his life? Who let them judge us or our family? of course it’s us .. we played victims of society, and let it happen , however great our wedding could be , people will anyway find some flaws , especially some in-laws to put down their new daughter in law and her family .
I truly support the idea of simple wedding, which revolves around feelings and not show off, how much money or gifts you give to your daughter, it will never make sure her happiness !! Her happiness lies in finding a person who values her for who she is ,not how much money she is worth for. Your daughter is priceless , you as a girl are priceless, your feelings your emotions are more valuable than anything! Know your self-worth ! Look for the right man not the rich man and things will become easy for you InshaAllah.
P.S: I am trying to live the sunnah and experience the beauty of it.Life is getting simpler and easier.,Alhamdolillah.
(some common vocabulary for people who don’t know: Salah is obligatory prayer for a muslim and Sunnah are sayings/teachings/practices of our prophet)
For my wordpress friends : I also have a FB page for my blog, dont forget to check it: https://www.facebook.com/MyHijabDiaries