Dealing with Failures

The pain of failure is always more than the happiness of success!

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We all have failed in our lives sometimes  and we have succeeded in many things, but the thing that keeps aching in our hearts is the failure ,that one thing we couldn’t achieve ! ,

The joy of achieving  is momentarily and the pain of losing  is stronger ,it has more impact and  stays longer.It could be  one of the reasons why most of us get depressed so easily and prefer to remain sad  than being happy!

But we all know,  all good things will  not happen everyday , each day will not be a perfect day , we can plan things ,work hard , spend our money for it  but nothing can ensure the success of our plans .

So what do we do when we fail or our plans fail apart from feeling angry,sad or even giving up ??

First ,We need to calm down and think what is bothering us ,

  • Our efforts gone wasted ?
  • Our money involved?
  • Low Self esteem?feeling low ?
  • Feeling ‘shame’ to tell it to people around?
  • Pressure from family or society ?

We need to know what is bothering us so we can find a solution ,

The effort and time are lost , well we have always learnt something while trying, Something which has added to our knowledge and experience  is never a loss.We know it now,what could  have been done extra to get it ,so  try again with more efforts and a better approach  to give your best shot.

Money is wasted, we could have done something else with it, it was our hard earned money, well what if the things were succeeded, would we have thought it this way? No, we always have to take into account the risk factor,should  be prepared for it, the best blessing is we are alive today and we  can earn it again!  We don’t have to waste our days (which are in fact portions of life) to mourn over it.Life in itself is more precious than to be wasted being sad about these failures.

Feeling low or unworthy: When we fail,we all feel low or unworthy of ourselves, we feel less fortunate  than others and less capable .We need to know we are all  similar but not same, our capabilities ,strengths ,weaknesses,they all vary and so do our interests.Comparing  yourself to someone who could do  some ‘x’ thing so easily or perfectly is not right, it could be his strong point and your weak point, We can always overcome our weaknesses by our efforts and will power to do the things.

Losing is a shame in most of the societies , we are shy to tell people that we failed or we couldn’t do it, Winning is a parameter of evaluating the respect to be given to us .People surrounding us add more to the grief by constantly asking about it. There are some,who even lost their confidence and  never bounced back ,well we do not have to be one of them. Losing is not shame, it is a symbol of being courageous to have tried what you wanted to do , you are not a winner today but tomorrow you can be !

We as muslims are always hopeful for the mercy of Allah, Everything is possible for Allah(‘Kun fayakun’ as it is said in Quran, He says Be and it is)  but He also  asks you to make an effort for it.The door is open , we need to make an effort to look out.Success or failure everything comes from Him as test or as gift  or as a rescue we never know.He knows Best.

So next time if you fail, don’t lose hope neither should you feel low,

Think about what is troubling you , and act upon it.

if you want to take another chance ,go for it.

You thought you gave your best , and there are no more chances to take!  then let it go, Some things are not meant to be . Leave them there, trust Allah and move ahead.Some better things must be waiting  for you on your way Insha Allah.

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51 thoughts on “Dealing with Failures

  1. Another good post. Very inspiring. Sometimes we just need to take the failures on the chin and get on with life. My mother often says Allah ta’ala gives us what we need and not what we want. Being mere humans, we are poor judges of our wants and needs. Being content with what we have is embarrassing for us. I have been guilty of that many times too.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes Ershad, we are all guilty of it, and we should be doing reality check often.I am falling in love with your mother every time you tell me such good things about her, May Allah bless her more and give my Salam to her!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I love this post so much! It is so important to keep a positive outlook on life and not let failures bring you down. One thing I always remember is that Allah SWT never burdens a soul with more than it can bear.. and that always helps me through tough times 🙂
    Saira
    throughtheglitterglass.wordpress.com
    xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Loubnanya

    Sana, you should have been a psychologist! 😉
    Honestly I love this kind of motivational writings and you just do it so good, so I hope you will continue to write..
    Indeed, failures are more hurtful that happiness but as you said, we can cure that. It’s up to us, to enjoy happiness and forget about what we could not achieve, maybe it was for a reason.
    Thank you sister ❤️ may Allah bless this beautiful and deep mind of yours.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you my dear Sister! I do want to study psychology but no studies for some time 🙂 Thanks again for motivating me with your comments, Inshallah I like to write about motivation sp hope to continue it, Barakalla feeki ukhti azeeza.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Loubnanya

        Indeed, human psychology is interesting, although I think some theories are really doubtful, we have many helpful facts to learn 😉
        Hey sister, I’ve nominated you for the Prize dards award. I know Accidentallyinlove has already nominated you but I’d like to have your answers to my questions so I hope you will answer insha’Allah!
        Have a good night sis.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. 🙂 i understood what you wrote.i am a very lazy fellow and i have a very long what to go.maybe one day looking back i can say to myself my hard work paid off 🙂
    Even though this is out of context can i ask you something?Does god like a person who does the hard work and makes lot of money for himself and his family,or a normal person who help others?

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    1. See I will again take my reference to answer your questions and the knowledge I have but I am not a religious teacher to give you best explanations, The subject of Allah is most easy to know and most difficult to understand.what I have learnt from my books and teaching from my prophet is He would prefer a normal person helping others rather than a person working hard and only saving for himself and his family. (reason being this guy is doing some thing for His subjects )This hard working person would still have preference over a lazy one who doesnt even work for his living , .I stil ldonot know why you ask me these questions, 😀 nothing related to my post !!

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    1. no, I took this pic , and I would prefer If you call me aap if you prefer to talk in Hindi, I dont use ‘ tu’ neither liked to be referred as , infact it is more considered rude in my family .Hope you dont mind ! I am assuming Hindi is not your first language so you might not know that, !

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  5. Hi Khansana, thank you for visiting my blog and liking it. I’ve had a look at what you say and I’m really interested in it. As a Christian I can concur with everything you say in this post about “dealing with failures” – very sensitive and wise. I see elsewhere on your blog you’re concerned about the question of women’s freedom – a very difficult issue; I live in England and I believe we have a long way to go in our culture before we can say women truly are free. I would love to hear your insights into what the hijab means for you, and why you are happy with the identity it gives you. this is a subject that fascinates me and I look forward to reading more of your posts as a Muslim woman.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi 🙂 Thank you so much for visiting my blog and taking time to read my posts! I would love to tell you my thoughts about Hijab,and what it means to me! (soon ) , My blog is small space where I share my feelings with the world.I would love to read your writes and your books too ! It is a different feeling if you know a person first and then read his/her book! Which one would you recommend me to read first?

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  6. The word (الحزن) “sadness” does not appear in the Qur’aan except in the form of forbidding it
    (ولا تهنو ولاتحزنوا)
    or in the form of negating it
    (فلاخوف عليهم ولا هم يحزنون).
    And the reason for this is because there is no benefit for having sadness in the heart. The most beloved thing to Shaitan is to make the believing slave sad by taking him off track.
    The Prophet (ﷺ) sought refuge in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) from sadness
    (اللهم إني أعوذ بك من الهم والحزن)
    Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: “Sadness weakens the heart and diminishes determination and wanting to go forward. And there is nothing more beloved to the Shaitan than the sadness of a believer.”
    For this reason, be happy, optimistic and think good about Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى). Have trust in what Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) is able to do and depend on Him. You will find happiness and pleasure in all situations.
    Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: “Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
    If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesn’t prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.
    You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with dua’as being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so don’t ever underestimate any good deeds.”
    One of the righteous predecessors said:
    “I make dua’a to Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) for something I want, and if He gives it to me then I’m happy once and if He doesn’t give it to me then I’m happy ten times because the first was my choice and the second was Allaah’s choice.”
    As Sa’ady (رحمه الله) on him said: “Life is short so don’t shorten it with worries, grief, and sadness.”
    So be the owner of a heart that breathes happiness and satisfaction.
    May Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) make your times happy and may Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) forgive us all. آمِيْن ثُمَّ آمِيْن.

    Liked by 1 person

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