Dealing with Failures

The pain of failure is always more than the happiness of success!

We all have failed in our lives sometimes  and we have succeeded in many things, but the thing that keeps aching in our hearts is the failure ,that one thing we couldn’t achieve ! ,

The joy of achieving  is momentarily and the pain of losing  is stronger ,it has more impact and  stays longer.It could be  one of the reasons why most of us get depressed so easily and prefer to remain sad  than being happy!

But we all know,  all good things will  not happen everyday , each day will not be a perfect day , we can plan things ,work hard , spend our money for it  but nothing can ensure the success of our plans .

So what do we do when we fail or our plans fail apart from feeling angry,sad or even giving up ??

First ,We need to calm down and think what is bothering us ,

• Our efforts gone wasted ?
• Our money involved?
• Low Self esteem?feeling low ?
• Feeling ‘shame’ to tell it to people around?
• Pressure from family or society ?

We need to know what is bothering us so we can find a solution ,

The effort and time are lost , well we have always learnt something while trying, Something which has added to our knowledge and experience  is never a loss.We know it now,what could  have been done extra to get it ,so  try again with more efforts and a better approach  to give your best shot.

Money is wasted, we could have done something else with it, it was our hard earned money, well what if the things were succeeded, would we have thought it this way? No, we always have to take into account the risk factor,should  be prepared for it, the best blessing is we are alive today and we  can earn it again!  We don’t have to waste our days (which are in fact portions of life) to mourn over it.Life in itself is more precious than to be wasted being sad about these failures.

Feeling low or unworthy: When we fail,we all feel low or unworthy of ourselves, we feel less fortunate  than others and less capable .We need to know we are all  similar but not same, our capabilities ,strengths ,weaknesses,they all vary and so do our interests.Comparing  yourself to someone who could do  some ‘x’ thing so easily or perfectly is not right, it could be his strong point and your weak point, We can always overcome our weaknesses by our efforts and will power to do the things.

Losing is a shame in most of the societies , we are shy to tell people that we failed or we couldn’t do it, Winning is a parameter of evaluating the respect to be given to us .People surrounding us add more to the grief by constantly asking about it. There are some,who even lost their confidence and  never bounced back ,well we do not have to be one of them. Losing is not shame, it is a symbol of being courageous to have tried what you wanted to do , you are not a winner today but tomorrow you can be !

We as muslims are always hopeful for the mercy of Allah, Everything is possible for Allah(‘Kun fayakun’ as it is said in Quran, He says Be and it is)  but He also  asks you to make an effort for it.The door is open , we need to make an effort to look out.Success or failure everything comes from Him as test or as gift  or as a rescue we never know.He knows Best.

So next time if you fail, don’t lose hope neither should you feel low,

Think about what is troubling you , and act upon it.

if you want to take another chance ,go for it.

You thought you gave your best , and there are no more chances to take!  then let it go, Some things are not meant to be . Leave them there, trust Allah and move ahead.Some better things must be waiting  for you on your way Insha Allah.